The Final Bell
by cembria
Summary: AH/AU Eric is a socially awkward nerd professor at ASU, Sookie is a fellow faculty member to tries to break him out of his shell after a rocky start. There is a very thin like between friends and lovers and the seem to always be treading it.
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this fic just for**** storiesforevy, ****pimping some AZ pride and giving her a little taste of home while she's away. Baby, this one's for you *Creeper Wink***

**E-POV**

"This paper is 40% of your final grade and your final exam. Do it right or don't bother coming back, because I'm not going to even bother grading it if it seems sup par. Now get the hell out of here." I said to my class. I'm a tenured professor at ASU, I and the head of the Astronomy department. I graduated high school at 15 and had my doctorate by 23; I started teaching at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, but moved to ASU when my parents died. My baby sister had just started college at ASU much to my chagrin. Honestly I'm surprised they don't have a bachelor degree of beer pong here. I applied and they cleared out most of the department and tenured me just to keep me. I wasn't going to say no even though I was staying no matter what. Pam always has been and will be my number one girl.

That was three years ago. At 29 about two thirds of my students are older than me. But many are still very stupid. I have done work for NASA for god's sake and I have people failing out of my 'Intro to solar systems astronomy' I mean really! Half the shit I teach in that class you should have picked up most of between the third grade and high school.

I sat down at my desk and took my lunch out of my bottom drawer. I could go eat in the teachers' lounge, but that would mean being social. Other than Pam and my next door neighbor Tray, I really hate people. I still like to fuck; I just don't want to know your life story or your name in most cases. I'm good looking, 6' 5", blond, blue eyes, long lean toned body (I work out… a lot) and I have a sort of nerd chic style as Pam says, so I don't need to look hard for someone willing to spread their legs for me. I'm not one to spend the night or cuddle, you will never come to my home, and I will never spend the night. If I can fuck you in a car or bathroom and not even have to go back to your house, even better.

I took out my sandwich and unwrapped it, tucking the plastic evenly under it. 60% peanut butter,40% strawberry jelly, perfect. I opened my chips and laid them on a paper plate so I can eat them without the chip bag touching my hand. Then I lined up my fruit in alphabetical order, first my apple, then my banana, my grapes and last my orange. What can I say, I really like fruit. I also packed 12 nilla wafers for desert. I left them in their baggie until I was finished. Last I took out my iced tea and placed a straw into it. I was making sure my napkin was at the proper angle when I heard someone open my door and walk in without knocking.

I looked up and I was met with the sight of one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, she was a vision in white. She was wearing a flowy white bohemian style skirt, her shirts was low cut and white, with angle wings crochet into the open space on the back, showing off her smooth tan skin, her sandals were gold and tied to her feet. Her golden blond hair was long and pulled into a side pony tail with flouncy curls. She was wearing a white head band that had white feathers hanging off of one side. Her face was flawless; she was wearing mascara and blush, but nothing more. Her body had these curves that were just asking to be held onto and caressed, also the fact that she had double D breasts maybe larger only served to draw her to me more. She was so perfectly put together, even her jewelry was perfect. Around her neck a gold feather, on her wrists gold bangle bracelets, her right hand held a large floral cocktail ring with white stones and gold embellishment's. She even had on a gold toe ring.

She was gorges, perfect, lovely and symmetrical. She was my Venus. I must have been sitting with my mouth open, oggeling her, because she snapped her fingers at me and said in an annoyed tone.

"You done?"

"Yes." I wasn't going to deny or try to defend my actions that would be a waste of my time.

"Good." She said smoothing her dress and continued. "I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I need a telescope and I was told I could ask you to borrow one." She was pretty, I would like to fuck her, but not so much that I would risk handing over my equipment to. I bet I can still get her to fuck me anyway.

"No." My answer was final and so was my tone.

"I'm sorry, what?"She looked confused; I don't really see how this could have confused her.

"Yes, I said no. Funding for my department is low and I can't afford to lose any equipment to…" I motioned for her to tell me why she wanted it. Was she a professor, a student, friend of someone?

"The art department, I teach ceramics and sculpture I wanted to…" I cut her off with a hearty laugh and held up my hand for her to stop.

"Oh wow, yes, that is a big no then. Like fuck I will lone out a piece of equipment worth thousands of dollars to someone who teaches a useless subject. I would really like to have sex with you, but not that much. I'll fuck you but you're not getting one of my telescopes." I saw her little lip quiver, but I stood strong. "I mean how long have to been teaching? One two years?" She started wringing her hands together and said.

"This is my first year." I smirked and said.

"Ya, that just cemented my point, but we can still have sex." I looked up at the clock and said. "I don't have another class for two hours." He eyes were watering and her lip quiver had gotten worse. I was getting uncomfortable now, I don't like tears.

"You listen here Mr. Northman."

"Doctor, but you can call me Eric." She crossed her arms across her chest in a defensive posture and said.

"Dr. Northman, I am not a whore!" Her voice cracked and now she started to cry. I recoiled and wished she would stop it. "I would never sleep with you to use your equipment and most of all I would never sleep with a big ol' meannie like you." She was sniffing and crying, but I had to laugh.

"Meannie, really?" She nodded.

"Yes, you're a real butt head." I quirked an eyebrow, and retorted.

"And they let you teach at a college level, oh right art." She broke out into sobs and ran out of the room bumping into my sister on the way out.

"Ms. Stackhouse… Sookie!" She called after her. She came back a few moments later and asked.

"What the fuck did you do to her; I have never seen her be anything except sunshine and rainbows!" I shrugged and said.

"I was honest, she wanted to borrow a telescope, I said no, but offered to fuck her instead. Next time you see her, tell her my offer still stands." Pam let out a high pitched scream catching me off guard and swept her hands over my desk knocking everything to the ground. I stood up and yelled.

"Hey!" But she cut me off and said with venom in her voice.

"Ms. Stackhouse is not only a teacher here, but she also runs the group for survivors of sexual assault, because she is one. You went and treated her like a common whore and you wonder why she cried. Your offer does not still stand and you will stay away from her and you better hope she doesn't report you for sexual harassment." She looked me up and down with disgust before she finished. "Fucking pervert." I grabbed her hand and said in a low tone, not meeting her eyes.

"I… I didn't know." She pulled back from me and hissed.

"I know you're socially retarded, but that's not an excuse. You better hope your looks never fade or no one will want to be near you." She picked up her bag and said.

"I'm going to go find her and see if I can smooth this over, you just stay out of my face, I can't even look at you right now." And with that she stormed off. I decided to abandon the mess on the floor, I also canceled my last class and left. I decided to walk up to the roof and watch the sun set and think. I was ashamed of myself. I didn't quite know what to do with that feeling. I had been with many women, but I have never and will never force myself on one. Honestly I have never had a woman not jump at the chance to be with me. I opened the door and froze, I could hear someone chanting to themselves and I knew who it was, and it only made me feel worse hearing what she was saying.

"I am not damaged goods, someone will still love me, he can't hurt me anymore, I will not give him power anymore, I am beautiful, smart and I have value." She said this over and over to herself through her sobs. I found myself not only angry with myself, but also wanting to rip the man to shreds who hurt her, who forced himself on her. I felt like I wanted to go and give her a …..hug? and tell her I would protect her. These were not normal feelings for me. I turned to leave, but the door made a horrific squeak and she turned around, her scared eyes meeting mine. She buried her head between her knees and started to rock, chanting faster and louder.

I knew I couldn't leave her like this, so I approached her. I went to lay a hand on her, but she shot up and screamed.

"Don't touch me! I do not consent!" She started to cry harder and I went to set down my bag and move a respectful distance away, but she shot up and her foot got caught on her dress. I reached out to catch her, but she pushed away from me and caught her leg on the iron siding, cutting her leg and making her bleed all over her beautiful white clothes. She just started shaking her head back and forth, ignoring the bleeding and sobbing over and over.

"I have value!" I crawled over slowly, knowing she needed pressure put on the wound as well as to go to a hospital for stitches. I took off my sweater vest and cautiously held it out in her direction. I looked in her shattered eyes and I had never felt worse in my life, I was a monster, I was just as bad as the man who had done this to her. I slowly reached towards her leg and said.

"You have value." Her eyes snapped to me, as I moved my vest over her wound and pressed down.

"I have value." She whispered, and shot her eyes away from mine.

"Yes you do, I'm sorry, I was an asshole." She moved her hand down to where the vest laid and shoved my hand away, replacing it with her own. I'm not going to say her action didn't hurt a little. It was abrupt and her eyes looked closed off.

"Fine." She said accessing her wound and quickly deciding to replace the vest.

"You need stitches and a tetanus shot, can you walk?" I asked, she looked up at me with puffy eyes and said.

"Please go away, I'll be fine." I shook my head and said.

"No, I won't leave you." She let out a humorless laugh and muttered.

"The one time I want someone to leave me and they won't."

"What does that mean?" I inquired.

"Nothing and none of your business, please leave, I will manage fine."She spat out at me. She was shutting down, she was no longer sad, hurt or broken, now she was just hostile and retreating into herself. I have to say, I can already see that this afternoon will be one of the biggest regrets of my life.

"Can you walk?" I asked again, crouching next her, in an attempt to look less intimidating.

"I will be fine." She retorted sharply.

"That wasn't my question." I stated simply. She shot her eyes to mine, and the look she was giving me almost knocked me over.

"What is your issue? One moment your propositioning me like a hooker, the next your trying to come to my aid and rescue me."

"I didn't know your were a survivor of sexual assault, I'm sorry." I said sincerely. She just fired up again at that.

"That is none of your business! Also it's no excuse; you should never treat anyone that way!" I flopped back in defeat and rested my elbows on my knees and hung my head.

"I know! This is a mistake I will never, ever make again, lesson learned." She flinched and softly said.

"Don't yell at me."

"I'm sorry." I said again in a whisper. Now I was ashamed that I had yelled at her. Jesus Christ, save me from myself.

"Okay." She said, I got up and kneeled in front of her and said.

"My sister say's I'm socially and emotionally retarded. I skipped a bunch of grades, and I never had friends. I have my sister and my neighbor doesn't grate me too much, but I have never had to be…"

"Normal?" Sookie offered. I flinched, I knew I was weird and awkward; I just didn't like people pointing it out.

"Yes, I don't handle human interaction well." She laughed and said.

"And you're a teacher?" I shrugged, and took her moment to levity and slid my hands under her lifting her into my arms. She gasped and struggled a little but before she yelped.

"What are you doing?"

"You need stitches; I'm taking you to the hospital. This is my fault." She felt light in my arms, she was warm and her skin was smooth. She smelled like a pina colada and lemons. I needed to remember to calm down, because I was the pervert who made an unwelcomed proposition towards her. I carried her out of the building, ignoring the stares and took her to my car. She looked up as I opened the door to my SAAB and asked.

"What are you doing?" I was confused.

"I thought I was clear, I'm taking you to the hospital." She sputtered as I set her in the front seat and said.

"I guess I just thought, you know what never mind, you are obviously and enigma who can't be predicted." I shrugged and got into the front seat. I took off my glasses and put on my prescription sunglasses. The sun hadn't gone pat the mountain yet and the glare off of all the mirrored buildings was awful. I drove us to Tempe St. Luke's and carried her inside. She filled out her paper work and we waited for her to be called.

"So Is Pam Northman your sister?" Sookie asked after we sat down. I turned slightly towards her and said.

"Yes." She nodded and said.

"You two are nothing alike." I shrugged.

"We have something's in common." Sookie laughed and asked.

"Like what DNA?" I smiled at that. I don't smile a lot, I found myself out of practice.

"That looks good on you." She said.

"I'm sorry, what?" I replied.

"Your smile, it looks good on you, you should use it more often." My smile had once again retreated and I shrugged.

"I use it when it's called for. Pam and I have similar tastes in women and we both have a mutual love for water parks." She snorted and said.

"I can't picture you at a water park." I raised an eyebrow and said.

"Try harder, because we buy season passes every year." Sookie giggled and I smiled again, shit, that's two for her.

"Stackhouse, Sookie?" the nurse called from the door. I scooped up Sookie again, much to her dislike and carried her behind the curtain. They did her vitals and set to work stitching her up. Fourteen stitches and one tetanus shot later, she was hobbling out of the hospital with me.

"Back to the campus to get your car?" I asked, she just bit her lip and said.

"That's fine, I don't own a car. I usually car pool or take the bus."

"Okay, I'll drive you home then, where dot you live?" She gasped and little and said.

"You don't need to do that."

"I want to." I replied turning to look at her; yet again she turned her eyes from me.

"No, no I can call a cab or take the bus." I shook my head.

"Where do you live?"

"You don't need to go out of your way for me." I let out a loud sigh and rested my head on the steering wheel. She apparently caught on that she was really annoying me because she said in a soft voice.

"I live at Alma School and Queen Creek."

"She can answer a direct question, thank the lord." I said sarcastically. I put the car in gear and hopped on the 101 towards Chandler. Pam and I live in Gilbert so it wasn't out of my way at all.

"I live in Gilbert, so it was on the way." I said to try to soothe her.

"Oh, okay then." We drove to her house in silence, except for when she gave me directions as we got closer to her house. I got out of her car and helped her out. When we got to her door step for some reason I felt like a teenager after their first date. It was awkward. I patted her back and said.

"Well here you are, goodbye." I turned to go back to my car and she call after me.

"Eric?" I turned to face her.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to be friends?" I must have looked confused because she elaborated. "You know, because you said you never really had any." I nodded and said.

"That should be fine, how does it work?" I walked back up to her and she said.

"Well, we will exchange numbers and we can go out and do things as friends or just hang out. We could eat lunch together." I shrugged and put my number in her phone and sent myself a text so I would have her and said.

"That should be fine, I don't like the teachers' lounge, I usually eat in my office." I shrugged and turned to leave again.

"I could eat in your office with you!" She called out; I smiled again, but didn't turn.

"I guess I could pull a chair to the other side of my desk for you." I swear I could hear the smile in her voice when she said.

"Okay, see you tomorrow." I heard her open her door and go in. I returned to my car and headed home. I felt like a new kid a school that just made his first friend. I still wanted to have sex with Sookie, but not as much as I wanted to have a friend of my own.

"So you eat your fruit in alphabetical order?" Sookie asked. I nodded.

"Yes, I also like my sandwiched to have a 20% higher protein ratio than the other ingredients." Sookies' eyebrow furrowed. I reached across the desk and smoothed it out and said.

"You make that face it's going to stick that way." She scowled and then punched my orange off my desk.

"Hey!" I yelled as she laughed as I got my fruit back and we ate the rest of our meal in silence. Over the last month Sookie and I have spent a ton of time together. I really like having a friend, Sookie never judges me and she clues me in quietly when I miss social cues. I'm just generally happier. Mill Ave. must miss me because I stopped trolling for loose women. At first I kept up with it, but I didn't like that it cut into my friend time with Sookie.

"?" I asked quickly and way too loud. I don't know why I was nervous, I spend time at Sookies house all the time, but she would be my first friend to come over, even Tray has only ever been in my back yard and her lives next door.

"What?" Sookie asked frozen over my trash can while she was tossing her lunch waste away.

"I asked, if you wanted to come over to my house tonight." She laughed and shook her head.

"Ya that sounds fun, my last class is at three so I'll just chill in here till your done. Wanna get some Sonic on the way home?" I smiled, she called my house home, my house isn't even home to me and it used to be my parents. They had it custom built about 10 years before they died. Sookie seems like the type who is at home anywhere.

"Okay that sounds fun, is t my turn to pick the movie or yours?" She sighed and said.

"It's your turn." I smiled and nodded.

"Revenge of the Nerds it is!" I lifted both of my hands in a thumbs up motion.

"Eric, we watch that every time it's your turn to pick." I rolled my eyes and said.

"Fine, we will watch on of the sequels instead." She came and gave me a hug, I returned it awkwardly. She made me feel… funny. I can't put my finger on it, but something about the way I feel about her is different. This must be what having a friend is like. Pam has lots of friends, so she must be very happy.

My day dragged by, Sookie came in for my last class and sat in the back. She drew silly pictures and held them up, forcing me to avoid her completely. She was quite the rabble-rouser. When we finished we headed to my house, picking up two chili cheese Coney's, two orders of chili cheese tot's and two cherry limeades. We also bought a couple of bags of that Sonic ice to put I the freezer, I mean really it makes every drink better, except milk, watered down milk is disgusting. We were passing Sookies neighborhood on the way to my house and she yelled.

"Stop at my house real quick!" I frowned and said.

"But I thought you wanted to come to my house? I mean we don't have to…" She cut me off as I pulled into her drive.

"Hush, I want to get some things because we're going to have a sleep over! She ran into her house and I slowly followed her as she gathered a bunch of stuff.

"I've never had a sleep over before." I said honestly. Sookie snorted and said.

"Well maybe not like the one we're about to have, but you are kind of a slut." I smirked and said.

"No, I have never spent the night with a woman. I don't like post coital tactile advances. I also haven't slept with a woman in a little over three weeks. I still masturbate a lot though." Sookie gasped and I smirked again. The word Masturbate creeps her out; I try to find any in context opportunity to say it around her now. She quickly shook it off and said.

"You really haven't slept with a woman in three weeks?" I shrugged and said.

"I didn't like how it cut into our friend time. I like having a friend now. You were my first text message, it was fun." She smiled and shoved a sleeping bag at me and grabbed her 'my little pony' duffle bag and headed out to my car.

"Aren't you a little old for that?" I asked indicating to her bag. She narrowed her eyes and said.

"Eric, your spare bedroom is filled with toys." I mock gasped and said.

"Those are collectable item's, I consider them and investment." Sookie laughed and patted my hand, letting it linger for a moment. I had never held hands before, but I guess I liked it. It was only for a second so maybe it didn't count. I will have to look up the time frame that constitutes the difference between hand holding and casual touching later when Sookie is not around.

"Maybe I should put my retirement into Star Trek toys also."

"Collectables." I corrected, that just made her crack up. We pulled up to my house and she gapped at it. It was my parents, so I didn't have the heart to part with it or to kick Pam out on her ass, so I pay the overhead on it. It has a pool with a water slide so that's pretty cool, but all of the landscaping makes it expensive and wasteful to keep up. I grabbed Sookies hand and dragged her inside, carrying our food and her thing's. Pam was sitting watching project runway with her girlfriend Amelia in the family room. This was my first sleep over and I was not about to let my little sister spoil my fun.

"Hello Sookie." She purred. "What are you two up to?" I grabbed Sookies hand and started to haul her towards the stairs and up to my room, my sanctuary, my Pam free zone.

"I'm having my first sleep over, you stay away." She laughed and called.

"No one likes a bossy friend Eric!" up the stairs. I didn't care Sookie was my friend and Pam could talk to her later, when I wasn't about to have my first sleep over with my best friend. I decided that was what Sookie was, this must explain the feelings I have for her, she is my best friend.

"This is my room." I waved my hand around and set her stuff down. "This is my bed." I pointed to the Viking sized bed at the far end of the room in front of the wall of picture windows. "This is my couch and TV area. This is my Lord of the Rings chess board." I showed her with pride. "This is my bathroom and closet." I pulled her stunned little body to look at it. I was very neat for a man. I like organization and order. I pulled her back to the couch and pushed her onto it. "Here, sit. I'll start the movie and we can eat." She nodded silently as I got everything set up. Soon we were laughing and eating. When the movie was over I asked.

"What happens next at a sleep over?" She smiled and said.

"Let's go put on our PJ's and we can play uno."

"What's uno?" I asked, she rolled her eyes and said.

"Eric, were you ever a child or did you pop out of the womb grown." I quirked and eyebrow and said.

"That would be impossible Sookie." She laughed and said.

"Sweet, sweet Eric, it was a joke." I shrugged.

"Okay, next time I'll be ready for your surprise sarcasm." And I would be, I was getting better on picking up on it when she did it. She laughed and grabbed her bag and went into my bathroom.

"Get changed, I'll be right out." I nodded and went to my dresser. She said PJ's which are what you sleep in, I only sleep in boxers, so that's what I grabbed. I put on a fresh pair of boxers that had the bat symbol over the crotch. They were a gift from Pam's girlfriend for my birthday she said I could fight crime with my penis now. I laughed, not because I thought it was funny, but everyone else was doing it and I didn't want to embarrass Pam by letting people know I missed the joke. Sookie never get's embarrassed by me, she even say's I'm cute and it makes her laugh sometimes when things go over my head. I sat on the edge of my bed and waited for Sookie. She came out wearing a red silk tank ton and red silk lounge pants… no bra. I know you're not supposed to want to fuck your friends, because it's bad form, but my god she was testing my will power in that. She just stared at me and said.

"What are you wearing?" I looked down and said.

"Pj's, this is what I sleep in and PJ's are what you sleep in right." She gulped and nodded.

"Yes, your right. Let's play uno." As she taught me the game, and I discovered she was a bold faced cheater after I found the instructions, our earlier night clothes related weirdness had passed. We were getting tired and Sookie rolled out her Barbie sleeping bag on the floor. I shook my head and said.

"I'm sleeping in my bed; you can join me if you don't want a sore back tomorrow." She scoffed and called me a pussy. I rolled my eyes and closed the shades and got in bed. I was just about drifting off when I heard Sookie shuffle and the bed dipped next to me. I opened my eyes and she was about an inch from my face and said.

"You were right; I don't know how I did that as a kid." She was whispering and I wasn't sure why, but I decided to go with it.

"I have to say, I'm not all that upset about missing sleeping on the ground in a polyester tube." Sookie giggled and settled further away from me.

"Good night Eric."

"Good night Sookie." I could see her smile in the moon light and I was sure I was smiling also. I woke up in the night to find myself wrapped around Sookie, our fingers were twined together. I was confused. I had no urge to shove her away like I normally would have. I took a few minuets to enjoy the feeling before I broke away from her. I didn't want her to wake up and think I was taking advantage of her. I would never hurt Sookie like that; I care about her too much. Putting space between us was almost painful, I yearned to… snuggle her again? Shit, now I'm awkward and weird with a side of emasculated.

Sookie was laying next to me on her bed and said.

"Eric, I want to go out and drink."

"Okay, let's go." I grabbed her hand. I knew exactly where I was taking her.

"Eric! I need my shoes!" She yelled as I stuffed her in my car. I went back grabbing her flip flops and locked up her house. I can back and said.

"Get ready, the place I'm taking you is amazing." I winked at her and she snorted. "Does it still look weird?" I seriously asked.

"Ya, you just shouldn't wink." I sighed and she rubbed my shoulder before saying. "It's okay Eric; some people just can't pull of the wink. You still have a great ass!" She added reassuringly. I pulled onto the 202 east heading towards the 101 so we could go to Scottsdale and said.

"You're right; I still have that going for me." I smirked and she playfully slapped me. About thirty five minuets later we pulled into 'The Skeptical Chymist' It was one of my favorite pub's and I had never picked up women from here so it was relatively safe. Poor Sookie got quite the tongue lashing in the bathroom of Martini Ranch when we went to see Metal Head a few months ago. Now I only take her places where I have never fucked a woman for found a woman to fuck. We walked in and took the only empty table. I ordered us a pitcher of Blue moon and an order of fish and chips to share.

We were having tons of fun; the place was crowded and screaming at the soccer game on TV. Sookie got up to use the restroom and I directed my attention to the TV. I noticed she had been gone a while so I got up to look for her and I found her leaning on the bar next to some guy. She was laying her hand on his shoulder and laughing. I was filled with a sudden sense of jealously and stalked over to her.

"Sookie?" I asked as I approached. She smiled and said.

"Oh Eric, this is Alcied. He was just telling me a funny story about the parking at ASU." I furrowed my brow and said.

"Yes, it is quite inadequate." She smiled at me, but didn't pat my shoulder like I thought she would. Instead she turned around and Alcied asked.

"Is he your boyfriend?" She laughed and I found that this time instead of her laughter making me happy that it cut like a knife.

"Eric? No, we're just friends." She looked at me and I did not smile back. I saw no need for fake smiles. Alcied seemed to perk up at this and asked.

"Can I have your number?" My heart clenched as she said.

"Ya here." And handed him her phone, I wanted to be away from her, as far away as I could get. My chest hurt and I couldn't breathe, I didn't understand it. I walked back to our table and sat down. Sookie came back a while later and asked.

"Are you okay?"

"I do not feel well and would like to go home." She nodded at me and I paid our tab and we left. The car ride was silent. I dropped her off and declined her offer to stay over. I didn't want to stay over with her anymore. She could stay over with her new friend Alcied now. I went home and stormed up stairs. Pam came up a while later, cautiously opening my door. She wasn't allowed in my room, but I had nothing left in me to fight with.

"Are you okay? I thought you were with Sookie." I rolled over as she came and sat next to me.

"I was." I answered plainly.

"Did you have a fight?" she asked.

"No." I know my tone was sharp, but I was hurting and I didn't understand it. Why did Sookie need another friend? I thought I was a really good friend to her. I don't know what I could have done to make her want to be my best friend too.

"Did something happen?" She sounded angry. I sighed and said.

"She wants' to be friends with a guy named Alcied, she gave him her phone number. I don't know if I want to be her friend anymore. She makes my chest hurt and it's hard to breath now." Pam laid next to me, but was careful not to touch me. I don't like touching except from Sookie, well now I don't want her touching me anymore either.

"Oh Eric, did you think she was your girlfriend?" I shook my head.

"No, she's my best friend, the only one I ever had. I don't want her to be friends with other men. I don't want to be friends with other women. I don't know what I did to make her want another friend." Pam sighed and gave me a sad smile.

"Eric, I think you're in love with Sookie."

"No." I said. She used to be my best friend; I established those were the source of my feelings a while ago.

"Eric, did seeing her with that other man hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss her?"

"Yes, it's annoying."

"Do you want to kiss her?"

"All the time."

"Would you like her to live in your room with you?"

"Yes." I answered without thinking. I had thought many times how much more convenient it would be if she lived with me. I could spend time with her all the time with no commute.

"Have you ever felt like that about anyone else?"

"No."

"Eric, my socially inept brother, you love her."

"Are you sure?" I asked her, hoping she was just being a bitch.

"Yes Eric, I'm sorry she broke your heart." I nodded, I understood the pain now. Pam was right, that's what it felt like. My heart was breaking and I left most of it with Sookie.

"I would like you to leave my room now." I said to Pam. She nodded and gave me a kiss that I pushed at. I was back to no touching.

"Good night big brother, I will always love you."

"Thanks." I said as she left. At least my sister loved me.

I had taken to eating my lunch in my car so I could avoid Sookie. I didn't want to see her, because that would make my chest hurt every time. I started locking my door in between classes and pretending I wasn't there. I had managed to avoid her for three weeks. I was very committed when I set my mind to it. I was walking back to my room to meet Pam, but stopped at the door when I caught a glimpse of her and I backed away. I was actually going to run in the other direction until I heard what she was saying.

"I know you know what's wrong with him Pam! Why is he ignoring me?"

"Why do you care?" Pam sneered. Pam had not taken my broken heart well, apparently I had never acted happy before and she didn't like me reverting back to my old ways of bruiting and isolating myself.

"Because he's my friend, or he was!"Pam scoffed and said.

"Why don't you go spend time with Alcied and leave my brother alone?"

"Who? Oh…." It seemed to hit Sookie like a ton of bricks. "But I was, I mean… he never called and I oh my God."

"He was in love with you, and inside of his mind watching you 'make a new friend' who was a man as he put it, must have been like watching you cheating on him. He has zero social skills, but he learned to love you and opened himself to you. You need to leave him be, he has been eating in his car and that's just not healthy. I want him to start dating." Pam said gently.

"What?" Sookie shrieked.

"Dating, I want him to be happy. He's lonely again and I don't like seeing him going back to his old ways, but he's worse now. All he does is go to work, and come home and watch TV. Maybe Claudine from the English department would be a good fit, if nothing else they would make lovely babies." I could hear Sookie start to sniffle.

"I shouldn't have taken him for granted."

"Did you love him?" Pam asked.

"It doesn't matter now." I heard her footsteps retreating and I flew into the men's room. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't want to hurt anymore, and I was most defiantly not going to date or have babies with anyone. I managed to get out to my car without seeing her, but quickly learned a lesson about observing one's surroundings. I got into my car to go home and Sookie popped up from the back seat as soon as I started the engine.

"AHHHHH! MOTHER OF FUCKING BITCH!" I screamed as I almost jumped through the window.

"What the fuck do you want Sookie!" I yelled, trying to get myself together.

"I want… I love you." She said as she climbed over the seat into the front.

"What?"

"I love you, I should have never flirted with Alcied or given him my number, we were dating no matter what we said. You don't sleep in a friend's bed every night and cuddle, you don't spend every waking moment with them, you don't diddle to the thought of them."

"Masturbate." I corrected with a straight face.

"Do you love me?" She asked.

"Yes." There was no hesitation now. I had analyzed my feelings for her over the last weeks and decided Pam's theory was correct I did indeed love Sookie.

"Do you wanna' be my boyfriend?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

"no." I said she looked crushed so I quickly corrected myself. "You can be my Lover, and I can be your gentleman caller." She laughed and said.

"Jesus Christ, you're weird." I shrugged.

"Do you want to go watch a movie at my house?" She looked like she was going to cry and said.

"Yes, I would really like that. I missed you a lot."

"I was also unhappy in the absence of your company." I said, taking her hand and twinning my fingers with hers as I drove away. Touching Sookie was even better than I remember. We pulled up to my house and walked upstairs. Pam and Amelia made cat calls at us as we walked up the stairs hand in hand. I went into my room and suddenly felt awkward. Was I allowed to have sex with her now, or did we still just cuddle? My question was answered when She attacked me.

The kiss was hungry and intense; her hands were all over me. I clawed at her, ripping her little dress in two. I made scraps of her bra and panties quickly. I looked over her body; my imagination had done her no justice.

"Venus." I muttered as I pushed her onto the bed and buried my head in her thighs. I licked and sucked until she screamed my name, then I quickly divested my clothes and said to her.

"You hold all the value in the world to me." She blinked a few tears that she pushed away and smiled saying.

"You're my real first." I kissed her and said.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I smiled at her and said.

"For giving me the gift of being your first." She looked ashamed and started.

"But Eric…" I put my finger over her lips and said.

"I'm your first." I was smiling; I truly did consider myself her first and I hoped to be her last also.

"I love you." She whispered as I positioned at her entrance. I kissed her an whispered also even though I didn't know why.

"I love you too."I pushed into her slowly, letting her adjust to my above average size. I didn't start really moving until she rolled her hips against mine and I took it as the green light to lay my A-game on her. I sped up and slowed down, bringing her up and down with me. I was getting close and I was having an internal debate. Pull out or stay in? I usually pull out, but I also usually remember to put a condom on. I figured the damage was done, so I might as well just enjoy it, and I did, she came violently around me her slick walls milking me for all I was worth. I felt very manly filling her with me seed. I pulled out and flopped next her pulling her close and nuzzled her and whispered.

"I forgot the condom, sorry." She laughed and said.

"Your pillow talk is awful. I don't care unless you're worried you gave me something." She looked at me curiously and a said.

"No, no… I'm clean. I just don't know your views on procreation." She smiled and said.

"I'm fine with it, only because it's you." I smiled and said.

"Agreed, would you like to go on a date with me?" She smiled and said.

"That would be perfect."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Im back BABY! I had to go on hiatus because I live in Arizona and my home was threatened by the Wallow wild fire for weeks. I decided to stay with my family and neighbors and protect everything that we had all worked so hard to build. In the end there was no power, no internet, no fresh water and $20,000 in damages to my home from ash and debris, not to mention having to fish charred dead animals out of my pool. Smokey the Bear really dropped the ball here so it took some time to clean up, but have no fear many updates on all of my stories are coming plus a new one shot to force you all to forgive me. **_

_**CHAPTER**_** 2**

The date was awful and awkward. I had never been on a date before let alone taken a girl out. Sookie told me she thought it was better if we stopped dating and were just best friends who have sex exclusively and aren't looking to be friends with other people. I was very glad she said that, because the pressure was getting to me.

"Wanna' play mouse trap?" She asked, going through her game shelf while I put the Sheppard's pie into the oven.

"Are you going to cheat?" I asked, I honestly don't think she is capable of playing board games without cheating. She looked at me and asked.

"Have you ever played before?" I raised an eyebrow at her and said.

"No, I guess you will be cheating then?" I smiled and she blushed.

"Probably."

"Do you want to play chess?" I asked, she frowned and said.

"No, you always win." I let out a laugh and said.

"That's because I know the rules, so I can catch you." She pursed her pouty lips and said.

"I wanna' play mouse trap." I smiled and took the seat across from her at the table and said.

"As you wish, Lover." I'm no good with pet names, but I decided to stick with Lover after I called her my little black hole, because she consumes my universe, she however said. "So I'm a black hole, a big giant thing that destroys everything in my path?" It really did sound more romantic in my head. This one makes her laugh so I decided to keep it. We played the game and I lost… surprise. Dinner was ready shortly after. We ate in relative silence until I asked.

"I think you should move in with me." She looked up from her dinner and asked.

"Why?" I set down my fork and got out my charts and diagrams. Sookie rolled her eyes, but sat back and watched as I illustrated my point.

"Well as you can see here, you already keep 73% of your belongings here, baring furniture, which we could discuss if you are very attached to any of it. Also you still pay rent on your house costing you $1,200 a month, also another $1,000 a month in utilities and general upkeep. Also, it costs me more in gas money to get to work if I have to drive surface streets to get to your house. In addition I have noticed that we can spend weeks away from your house at a time and much of your food in your fridge spoils accounting for other monetary waste. Now we have been 'friends' for 8 months…" I air quoted around the word 'friends'. "and in that time we have only spent one night apart and I did not care for it. Economically this makes the most sense for us, personally I love you and I want you to be in my room permanently."

I folded my charts back up and took my seat across from her at the table again. She looked thoughtful and slowly clasped her hands in front of her before she asked.

"Will I get some real closet space or will I continue to have to share with your dolls?"

"Action figures." I corrected. "And no, I'm moving my memorabilia out of my closet and into the den. You would have exactly 50% to do with as you choose." She drummed her fingers and said.

"I don't want to pack or unpack; I just want it all to happen organically. I don't want to stress and I don't want anything broken. I want to come home and just have it be." I nodded and gathered my plan.

"Consider it done, I'll have your things here in a week, just stop going to your house. I don't like it." I frowned a little at the thought of Sookie not living with me in my room. She reached across the table and rubbed my face to make me stop frowning and said.

"Okay, I love you baby." I cringed a little at her calling me baby, but let it pass. "Do we have time to have sex before Fringe comes on?" I looked at the clock; we had 58 minuets before it came on. I weighed my options in my head for a moment. In the end I decided that if I missed a little of the beginning that I could re-watch it on demand tomorrow.

"We have time." I stood up and placed our plates in the sink and grabbed her at the base of the stair case and ran upstairs with her. She laughed and squirmed as I toss her on our bed. I smiled and looked down at her. She was wearing a shirt with Darth Vader on it that said 'who's your Daddy?' it was adorable. She was perfect in every way. Pam said I should put a ring on it, but I don't want to ruin what we have. After all, when I was her boyfriend it was a disaster.

Sookie and I fucked and made love, I completely missed fringe, but because it was missed in favor of having sex with my best friend I was okay with that. We went to bed that night watching some more episodes of True Blood, it's one of Sookies favorites, but I would never admit to her that I like it also. I also think its adorable the way she humps at the TV every time The sheriff of area five comes on the screen.

I was teaching my class about five months after Sookie moved in, I had never been so happy in my life. She made me happy, she made me try things, and she made me the best version of myself. I can only hope I do the same for her.

"Now when thinking in terms of the infinite possibilities in the universe you have to…" I paused when Sookie kicked in my door waving something in the air. I looked at the clock and said.

"Sookie, I have class for another hour." She was catching her breath and screamed.

"Baby, I'M PREGNANT!" I calmly turned off my projector and allowed the murmurs and gasps to quiet down before I smiled and said.

"Class dismissed." No one really seemed to move, but phones were out and people were furiously texting and taking pictures. Sookie flew down the steps of my lecture hall and flew into my arms and thrust a pregnancy test at me. I tossed it in the trash can as soon as I figured out what it was and wiped my hand on my jeans before Sookie squealed and said.

"Hey!" She went to reach for it but I caught her and said.

"Sookie I trust you, I'm sorry but we don't need to keep a urine soaked hormone detector." She huffed in my arms and whined.

"But Baby! It's for the baby book." I shook my head.

"No." She huffed, but them looked thoughtful and asked.

"If I give that up can I have a belly cast made and hang it in our room?" I wasn't thrilled, but it seemed better than keeping the piss stick and gluing it into one of her 32 scrapbooks.

"Yes, that will be fine." She bounced and kissed me.

"YAY!" I looked up from Sookie and realized not a single member of my class had moved, people were still texting and chattering on their phones. I rolled my eyes and said.

"Class dismissed, get the fuck out!" They all scrambled and pushed to get out of the room. I dropped to my knees in front of Sookie and rubbed her stomach. I looked up at her with a smile and said.

"Our combined genetic tissue is causing cell division right now." Sookie smiled back and said.

"Yup, I'm cookin' a baby." I kissed her stomach and said.

"We should name her Pearl." Sookie laughed and said.

"Eric, we don't even know if it's a girl yet. I'm probably only six weeks or so along." I grabbed her hands and pulled her down to the floor with me. I looked straight into her eyes and said.

"I know it will be a girl, it is my lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women." Sookie was smiling and blinking away tears when Pam burst into the room, covered in paint, with a brush still in her hand.

"I'm going to be an auntie!" Sookie smiled and nodded. Pam did a fist pump and said.

"You should name her after me." Sookie looked at me then back to Pam and asked.

"How are all of you so sure it will be a girl?" Pam let out a smug laugh and said.

"Eric is not lucky enough to catch that kind of a break." I snorted, Sookie shot me a look. I just shrugged and said.

"Lover, I knew I would be done for the moment I met you. However, if you are going to be producing me a hoard of female Northmans, we should buy a shot gun." Sookie laughed and kissed me, Pam was punching air in her victory dance. Sookie suddenly stopped smiling and said.

"I don't get to be a Northman." She looked sad and I asked.

"Do you want to get married?" She gasped and said.

"God no, you would make an awful husband. The pressure of being a boyfriend got to you." Pam laughed and I shot her a look.

"What do you want Sookie? I'll do anything to keep you happy." She sniffed and looked up at me and said.

"We could file for a domestic partnership… maybe I could change my name?" I smiled at her and said.

"I could get us friendship rings; maybe yours could have a nice big diamond in it?" She smiled and wiped away her last errant tears and said.

"That would be perfect." I kissed her and I hear Pam snort and say.

"You two are so fucked up." I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against hers and said.

"Pamela, I would like you to leave my class room now." She made a little 'pfft' noise and stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

"Eric, I don't want to be pregnant anymore." Sookie cried, while I rubbed Ice on her in the kitchen. Pam was laying on the tile floor in nothing but her bra and panties. Sookie was completely topless and her little boy shorts had been hiked up to cover as little skin as possible. Our air conditioning had failed us about two hours ago and it was July and 110 degrees out.

"What do you want to do, Lover? I don't think we should stay here any longer." Pam lethargically lifted her arm, with her wrist and hand limp and said.

"I second that motion." Sookie looked at me and said.

"I concur." Her sad little eyes lit up as she mimicked something I say all the time.

"Motion carried, where should we go." Pam flipped over, leaving a sweaty print on the tile and said.

"We should staycation, I vote for the Scottsdale Biltmore." Sookie shook her head and said.

"I second that." I smiled at my girls and said.

"Okay motion carried, go pack for three days; I should be able to have someone fix the air by then." Pam let out a lack luster 'woot' and peeled herself up and staggered into her room. Sookie looked up at me and said.

"I know I'm a whale, but can you carry me upstairs?" She looked like she was going to cry. She had been doing that a lot lately. It only got worse when she entered her third trimester last week. Now it's like she is a ticking time bomb, just waiting for an opportunity to cry. I scooped her up and said.

"Lover, you are not a whale. In fact I think you are more beautiful than ever and now your pelvis doesn't leave bruises on me if you fall asleep in an awkward position." She looked up at me and asked.

"Are you calling me bony? Did you not like me before? Are you a chubby chaser?" she was starting to yell and thank god we made it to our room because I set her down on the bed and said.

"Sookie, I know your hormones make you sassy, but really get a grip." She gasped, but I clamped my hand down over her mouth and held her to me as she struggled. If I let her speak I would never get out of this and I would be sleeping on the floor again like after the incident at the zoo.

"Listen, I love you for you, not your size, you were perfect before and you are perfect now. I am not a 'chubby chaser' as you say. You have gained 20 pounds, that's it. Now at least 12 of that is the baby, placenta and amniotic fluid. So please do not twist my words to make me sound like an evil monster." She was sniffling and I was starting to feel bad about holding her and asked. "If I let you go are you going to be nice?" She nodded and I released her and she wiped her face.

"Sorry." She whispered. I let out a sigh and said.

"That's okay Lover, now let's pack our bag so we can go and enjoy a nice air conditioned resort." She nodded and laid on the bed while I packed our bag. I was well aware that I said "we can pack our bag" but I knew it would be me packing our bag. Sookie doesn't plan or pack, that's what she has me for. I'm the brains and she's the muscle, and I'm okay with that. I put our things into my small rolling suit case. I asked her which swim suit she wanted and she told me she didn't care. I however knew she cared so I packed them all just to cover my ass. I slipped a sundress over her, not even bothering to suggest a bra, I knew better. I picked Sookie up and carried her and our bag downstairs. With as much as I have been carrying her lately, you would think her legs were broken. I walked into the garage and found Pam already in my car with the air blasting, scowling and tapping her wrist like we were on some sort of schedule I didn't know about.

I set down our bag and placed Sookie in the front seat. I took a moment to make sure the vents were blowing on her in the most efficient way and put our bag in the trunk. I opened it and noticed Pam had packed three times as much as both Sookie and I combined. I just rolled my eyes and got in the front seat. I put on my sunglasses which Sookie had been kind enough to have held in front of the air vent to cool them down and we were off.

Three hours later, Pam was nowhere to be seen and I was pushing Sookie around on a raft while giving her sips of her virgin pina colada. Which considering how pregnant she is, she found hilarious to order. A little after that I was rubbing more sunscreen onto her stomach and stealing kisses from both her mouth and stomach. I was smiling as she stretched out like a cat while I rubbed her sides, when a woman walked up and said.

"Oh sweetie you are so lucky, I wish my husband was that attentive." I lifted an eyebrow and Sookie laughed and said.

"Oh he's not my husband, we're just friends." The woman looked back and forth between our rings and looked disgusted and said.

"Well I'm sure your husband must be very happy." Sookie put on her bitch face and ripped into her. I didn't stop rubbing her because I didn't want to catch even the tail end of this bitch face.

"You listen here bitch, I don't have a husband, and the man that is being so attentive to me and my child is also the father of said child. Not everyone has to be married to be a family. So how about you go and fuck yourself right up the ass." She was huffing and puffing as I said.

"Lover, language, the baby can hear you."

"Shut the fuck up Eric!" She hissed.

"As you wish." I conceded. I had come to terms with the fact that Sookie swears like a sailor a long time ago and our Childs first word with most likely be fuck or ass hat. The woman skulked off in the direction of the hotel. I leaned over and asked Sookie.

"Lover, would you like to go take a rest? I think rest is what you need." She pouted a little and said.

"I think I need a rest." I smiled and picked her up and carried her up to our room. I stripped her out of her bikini and laid her in the bed. I also divested my own clothes and climbed in behind her spooning her. I wasn't tired, but something about holding her close to me made me relaxed enough to fall asleep. I woke some time later with Sookie perched on top of me.

"Baby…" She whispered. "Baby, are you awake?" I continued to feign sleep until I felt her little fist hit my chest making me gasp and she said. "Oh good your awake!" She had a huge smile on her face and she was fully clothed, bra and all which lately has been a rarity. Not that I'm complaining mind you. She was wearing her flouncy white lace dress and her hair was pulled up onto her head in a braid that looked like a halo. The back of her dress was open showing off the butterfly wings she has tattooed on her back. She had gotten those when we were really just friends, long before the Alcied incident. I also got the solar system tattooed on the inside of my right bicep on the same day. Sookie said it looked fuckhot, I thought it was itchy for weeks.

"You look beautiful my love." I said after I caught my breath that Sookies little fists of fury had stolen.

"I wanna' go dancing." She said with a pout, knowing full well that I hate dancing. I'm awful at it. I'm 6'4" there is absolutely nothing graceful about having limbs this long. However that pout is my kryptonite so I said.

"Okay, I'll get dressed and we can go have dinner then go to a club." She kissed me then climbed off and did her happy dance while holding her stomach. When I got out of the bathroom I saw Pam sitting on our bed wearing two Band-Aids and some yarn. I mean it wasn't that exactly, but that was what her outfit reminded me of.

"Lets get fucked." She declared, as she popped off the bed. I looked over at Sookie and said.

"Done, Sookie is proof that I do indeed get fucked." Sookie held her stomach and smiled, rocking herself from side to side. Pam rolled her eyes and took some cash out of my wallet before tossing it and my keys to me. We went to Martini Ranch for a while, but I left Pam with more cash and Sookie and I returned to the room pretty quick, because she almost bit one of the women who hit on me. I paid the woman no attention mind you, but I also couldn't have Sookie biting people. Sookie was like no one else I had ever come across when I met her, but being pregnant only seems to have brought out her unpredictable streak.

"Lover, would you like a bath?" I asked when we returned to the room, Sookie however was still fuming.

"Your mine! I sunk my claws in first fair and square." I nodded and went to run her a bath.

"Yes Lover, I am yours. Would you like bath salts or bubbles?" I asked holding them up.

"Didn't they see your ring? That ring means you're my friend, what kind of trash hits on a taken man, with his pregnant lady right next to him?" I poured in some bubbles and walked over to her and started to divest her of her clothes and said.

"Those women were trash, absolute garbage. I have no interest in them. Lift…" She lifted her arms and allowed me to remove her dress. "I only love you, and you know I'm not emotionally capable of straying from you because of my need to fixate and obsess." She nodded and I placed her gently in the water and placed her bubble beard on her face like I know she enjoys.

"You do like to obsess about me…" I smiled.

"It's my favorite thing to do." I replied, allowing her to add a bubble beard on me also as I sat on the edge of the tub.

"I like that I never have to think around you, you just always have everything ready and perfect." I grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"See I'm sitting here planning your breakfast already. I love that you let me obsess about you and let me think everything into oblivion. You really are perfect for me." She crinkled her nose and said.

"I know, I hate to think and you love to think. Can you imagine if you were friends with another thinker?" She laughed and I just looked her in the eye and said.

"It would be madness." She snorted and mimicked my voice.

"Total chaos." I leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"Indeed Lover."

I was sitting at my desk with Sookie in my lap facing me. I had my glasses on and I was grading some papers over she stomach which was now in my opinion to capacity. Sookie was due in two weeks, but they said it could happen any day now. I was right we are having a girl; I'm still trying to get Sookie to warm up to the name Pearl. She said it was an old lady name and she wanted something unique like Baton, I said no to that right away. She also suggested Pear and Beetle; I vetoed those also and stuck to my guns on Pearl.

"Baby, I'm hungry." I leaned to the left and got a bag of bugles for her out of my drawer and returned to my work. She munched and hummed for a while before she said.

"Baby, I'm thirsty." I leaned to the right and handed her my iced tea off of my desk and went back to work.

"Baby, Pearl is annoying me." She whined.

"So it's Pearl now? Not Banana or trash can or something asinine like that?" I asked with a laugh.

"I'm conceding, but I get the middle name." I smiled and said.

"That's agreeable." Before I returned to my work.

"Eric, she's really bothering me, make her stop." I rolled my eyes and lifted my papers off of her stomach and set them on the desk before I placed my hands on her stomach and brought my face down to it and said in a very stern voice.

"Stop whatever you're doing right now to annoy Mommy or I will come in there and stop you myself." I kissed her and looked at Sookie before I said.

"Good?" I suddenly felt a rush of warm liquid all over me and I knew it was go time.

"Oh my god." Sookie whispered and looked down between us.

"This is disgusting." I said trying to resist the urge to fling Sookie off of me and strip naked just to get the amniotic fluid off of me.

"Baby, calm down, its nature!" Sookie beamed. I gently lifted her off of me and said.

"I will not calm down!" I shouted with a gag as I lifted my shirt over my head. Sookie laughed and got out her cell phone to call Pam. I gagged and dry heaved as I rinsed off in the chemical spill shower. It says emergency only, but to me this was an emergent level of gross. I cleaned off and put on my emergency change of clothes that I keep in my desk and found Sookie sitting calmly on top of my desk. Lucky for her I caught almost all of the mess with my lap so all she had to do was pitch her panties and use a few tissues.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yes." I said begrudgingly as I took her hand and led her out to my SAAB. I made her wait outside for a moment while I laid down news papers. She rolled her eyes and said.

"I'm not a dog Eric; I'm not going to do that again. It really is a onetime thing." I shook my head and said.

"Nope, sit on the paper. You can't be trusted now." She huffed and flopped down, the paper crinkling with every move she made. I got in the car and checked her seat belt before putting on my own.

"How are you doing?" I asked, as I pulled onto the freeway towards Tempe St. Lukes.

"Fine, crampy, but fine." I nodded sending glances at her every once in a while and seeing her smile and stare off rubbing her stomach. She would be less smiley when the real labor set in. Just as I pulled into the parking lot she grasped her stomach and looked at me with agony in her eyes and said.

"Owe, fucking owe owe fucking OWE!" I walked around to her door and opened it calmly asking.

"How are you doing?" She glared at me with fire in her eyes and yelled.

"I DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD HURT THAT BAD! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING NOT WRAPPING IT!" I shrugged and dodged her little flying fists as I carried her in facing away from me, so her punching hands couldn't get me. I walked up to the desk and said.

"We're the Northman's, Sookies water just broke, and we called ahead…" The little nurse looked at me holding my screaming, crying, flailing friend straight out in front of me completely calm and giggled.

"Right this way Mr. Northman." She said pointing me towards a bank of wheel chairs.

"Doctor." I corrected her. "Just tell me where to take her. If I set her down she'll kick or bite someone for sure." The nurse looked at my furious little woman and looked back at me disbelievingly. I rolled my eyes and looked down at Sookie and asked.

"Lover, if I set you down will you behave?" She kicked a little harder and yelled.

"FUCK YOU ERIC! I'M OUT FOR BLOOD AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I looked back at the nurse who backed away and said.

"Follow me." I followed her up to the maternity ward and got Sookie in the bed and undressed with minimal fist to face contact. The doctor came in and said she could have an epidural if she wanted and she threw the phone at him. Fifteen minuets later he came back with two stitches in his eyebrow and a huge needle filled with drugs for Sookie. After that was done, she was much more pleasant. Pam came in and sat in the corner quietly, per Sookies instructions. A while later a different doctor came in and said.

"Let's see where you are." She lifted Sookies gown and checked her dilation and said.

"You can push soon!" Then she turned to me and asked.

"Are you nervous Daddy?" I cocked my head and said.

"No, I have read the literature."Why would she think I would be unprepared for this? She looked confused and opened and closed her mouth a few times before just going and washing her hands and getting into her gown. They put Sookies legs up in stirrups and I went to hold her hand.

"This is all your fault ass hole." Sookie hissed at me.

"Sookie, love of my life, my hearts one coquet, I am truly prostate with sorrow that I have bequeathed you with discomfort while you complete the miracle of life." She burst into tears and I just cradled her head while she sobbed.

"Baby, I want her out, please!" I gave her a kiss and said.

"Pearl is vacating the premises right now; don't worry my love, your almost done." The doctor looked up at us and said.

"Okay Sookie, time to push on the next contraction."Sookie meant it when she said she wanted her out, because she only had to push three times before my daughter was bitching out every person in the room. They cleaned her up and placed a little pink hat on her. I walked over and removed it, tossing the offending garment on the floor and pulled her real hat out of my pocket. It was white and had and embroidered ring on it and said 'My Precious' in the lord of the rings script. The nurse handed me my screaming daughter. She was starting to grate my nerves with her Sookie like tantrum so I said.

"Please discontinue the high decibel noises." She immediately stopped and smiled at me. I think she and I will get along just fine. I walked her over to Sookie and she gently took her from me and started to baby talk her.

"Who's my sweet baby? Who's my special schmoopsie poo?" I was cringing and apparently Pearl felt the same way about baby talk as I do, because Sookie said.

"Oh my God, she's scowling at me. Why is she scowling?" She looked up at me panicked and I crouched down to their level and said to Pearl.

"Pearl, please allow your mother to try to appeal to your infant nature." Pearl stopped scowling and started to smack her lips making silly noises. I smiled at her and kissed her head. "Thank you." I said before I stood back up.

"Oh my, she's just like you!" I looked down at my sweet baby girl, who is the spitting image of Sookie and said.

"Yes, I do believe some social awkwardness is in her future. However, if she is anything like me she will love you the most." Sookie looked down at our baby and back at me before saying.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"For loving me and giving me the most perfect baby on the planet." I smiled and kissed her.

"I love you so much." Pearl squeaked in her arms and I laughed. "I love you two little one!" I swear I saw Pam's eye roll come from her and I knew her teen years were going to be hell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Eric…. What are you doing?" I looked up at Sookie and said.

"Playing with the baby." I looked back at the chess board and planned my next move.

"Don't you think Pearl is a little young to play chess? I think Teletubbies is more her speed." I looked across the board at my daughter and said.

"Pearl, do you like the teletubbies?" She made a high pitched sound and shook her head.

"Pearl, do you enjoy chess with Daddy?" She clapped her hands and yelled.

"Dada!" I smiled at my little Pearl and looked smugly at Sookie and said.

"I believe the verdict is in." Sookie laughed and took a seat in my lap and gave me a kiss.

"She may look like me, but that's where our similarities end." I smirked at her and said.

"I think she has the best parts of both of us." Sookie leaned in and I kissed her with a smile on my face.

"Dada?" Pearl said from her perch across the table. I looked slightly past Sookie at her and said.

"Pearl, give Daddy a moment with Mommy." I returned to kissing Sookie when I heard Pearl scream.

"NO MOMMY!" I broke away from Sookie just in time to shield her from the rook that Pearl sent flying at her Mother in a fit of jealousy.

"Are you sure aesthetics is your only similarity?" I asked with a hint of smile in my voice, looking at my scowling daughter across the table. Her arms were crossed like Sookie does when she doesn't get her way and her little lips were pulled into a tight line and her forehead was scrunched like a Clingon. I have seen many Sookie temper tantrums, and Pearl has the same flair for dramatics that her mother does. Sookie looked guilty and said.

"Maybe we're more similar than I thought." I shook my head and placed her on her feet before I got up and picked up Pearl from her chair and said.

"We do not throw things at people, now you must sit on your 'no no' mat and think about what you have done." She started to cry, but I knew I could not fold to her tears with Sookie watching. I walked her over to the little area rug that was set by the stairs and placed her on it. She continued to scream. I was about to turn to walk away when she flopped forward pitifully and cried.

"Dada peas!" over and over. I had never been so glad as I was in that moment that Pam never moved out. She burst out of her room and saved me from folding like a cheap lawn chair when she sternly said.

"Pearl Tea Cup Northman, you quit your bitching right now!" I let out a sigh and returned to the kitchen where Sookie was sitting with an amused smile on her face and said.

"Oh, Pearl was using low blows." I picked up the game we had been playing and said.

"She has learned I am easily manipulated by her tearful pleas." I looked over at Sookie and said "I have no idea where she learned that strategy to get her way." My tone was even, yet still dripping with sarcasm. Sookie just smiled and shrugged before saying.

"You know baby, I have no idea. We should look into it." I rolled my eyes at her and said.

"We'll have to get Scooby and shaggy right on that." She laughed and slapped my ass as she walked back to her art studio. I had converted one of the spare bedrooms for her last year. I grabbed some of my cook books to thumb through. I was sitting at the table looking for something to make for dinner when I heard a crack of thunder and the power cut out and the house went completely black. I was out of my seat so quickly that the chair flew into the wall leaving a hole. I crashed into Sookie who was flying out of her studio also to get Pearl. We however fell on our asses. I was trying to asses Sookie for injury when I heard Pam and Pearl laughing. I rolled onto my back and could make out Pam standing over me with Pearl in her arms.

"You two are either the worst parents ever or the best parents ever. I have not decided yet." Sookie extended her arms straight up and Pam placed Pearl in her hands. Pearl clung to her and said.

"Owey Mommy." We knew she was apologizing for throwing things at her before, but her speech patterns left something to be desired.

"That's okay, just remember to we don't hit, bite, kick, punch or throw things at people, okay?" Pearl shook her head and said.

"Tay Mommy." Sookie kissed her and said.

"That's Mommies good girl." Pearl beamed, but quickly lost interest in her mother and climbed off of her and onto my chest. I wrapped my arms around her while I recovered from eating shit when I crashed into Sookie. Pam kicked my shoulder eliciting a growl from my daughter and said.

"I'm ordering a pizza, fucking monsoon season." I sat up and said.

"That sounds agreeable; we will be in my den." I slung Pearl over my shoulder and helped Sookie up off of the ground. I held her hand as we navigated to my den in the dark with limited contact with other furniture. When we got there I set Pearl on the couch with Sookie and opened the recliner for them before I started my constellation projector for some light and joined them. Pearl was rubbing the inside of my left bicep where I had an open clam shell with a pearl tattooed on it with her full name (as ridiculous as it was) and her birthday tattooed under it. She knew it was for her, Sookie had a matching one on her wrist and she loved to touch that as well while she would possessively say 'mine'. She looked up and me and asked.

"Dada Mine?" I smiled at her and said.

"Yes, little one, that's for you." She smiled and grabbed Sookies left hand and put it next to my arm and said.

"Mama Mine?" Sookie laughed and said.

"Yes baby, that's for you too." She excitedly squealed like this was not the four thousandth time we had done this and said.

"Yay, Mine!" I laughed, she was a lot more like Sookie then we thought at first. I looked over at my best friend and the daughter we shared and said.

"I am glad that you choose to love me, not many others would tolerate me on a regular basis." Sookie snuggled into my other side so I had one of my ladies in each arm and said.

"Baby, you take care of me. Remember when we first started being friends and I had no power because I forgot to pay the bill? Can you imagine what would have happened to me without you? I would be sweaty and hungry, not to mention lonely. I don't understand why people think you're so weird." I smirked and said.

"I am an acquired taste, if I remember correctly you hated me at first." Pearl looked over at her mother horrified and I laughed.

"I didn't hate you." She said soothingly to Pearl. "You were just acting like such a jerk! I still haven't gotten to use that telescope." She said accusingly.

"And you won't." I retorted with a smile.

"What!" she exclaimed. I feigned being shocked and asked.

"Did you think seducing me would get you use of me equipment?" She snorted and said.

"I guess I went about this the wrong way." I laughed and hugged them both. We heard a knock at the door and Pearl flew off of me, but bumped her leg on my desk and screamed.

"AHHH FUCK!" I looked over exasperatedly at Sookie, who no doubt was the one to teach my 18 month old daughter the word fuck.

"Oh God, Pearl baby, don't say Fuck. It's a naughty word." Sookie said trying to smooth out the situation, but I continued to direct a cold stare at her, which I only made harder when Pearl said sweetly.

"Oh Shit?" Sookie sucked in a sharp breath and said.

"No, no baby, Shit is a naughty word also." Pearl looked so confused and asked.

"Mama naughty?" Sookie sighed and I tried to suppress a smile. Sookie is very, very naughty, but in ways I hope Pearl does not understand for a very long time. The lights flickered back on and Sookie let out a relieved sigh and said.

"Go find Aunt Pam." Pearl totted off and Sookie turned to me sheepishly. I was sitting on the couch with my arms crossed, face impassive.

"Eric, I'm sorry." I continued to sit completely still knowing that my silence would get to Sookie more than yelling or harsh words. "Baby, I have been really trying to stop cursing in front of the baby." She tentatively walked towards me. "Baby?" I stayed silent and continued to stare at her. "Baby, please say something!" She flopped across me on the couch and tried to pull my folded arms apart. I didn't give an inch though. "I wuv you." She said with an exaggerated pout. I was starting to soften to her advances. "I've been so naughty." She looked up at me with her big blue eyes. My resolve was broken and I uncrossed my arms and pulled her up to my lap and said.

"Yes, you have been very naughty." She got a mischievous grin on her face and said.

"I think you need to teach me a lesson." She kissed me and I growled into her lips and said.

"You do seem to be in desperate need of discipline." She ground into me and I held her a little closer.

"I have been so bad." I drew her lower lip in between my teeth and she threaded her hands through my now longer hair and held me to her as we feverously made out. Sookies hands had made it under my shirt and she was scratching down my chest when we heard.

"Mama… Dada!" being called down the hall. I reluctantly pulled away from her and sighed into her shoulder. She laughed and said.

"Tonight, after eight, it's just you and me buddy." She kissed me one more time before she climbed off of me and called out.

"Mommy's coming baby!" She winked at me as she walked out the door. I groaned and laid my head back on the couch. I took a few minuets to calm down, because I literally needed things to go down before I was around my young daughter. I finally got up and headed into the kitchen. I was prepared to stink eye my daughter before I walked in and saw her covered in pizza sauce with a pepperoni stuck to her forehead. I had to laugh and shake my head at her silliness. I grabbed a couple of pieces of pizza from the boxes on the stove and took my seat between Pearl and Pam. Pearl appeared to be more pizza than child at this point in time.

"Daddy kiss!" She squealed holding her saucy little hands out to me. Now one thing I have noticed that they leave out of all the literature concerning rearing tiny humans is the fact that they are constantly in need of a bath. I thought girls in general were cleaner than boys, yet Pearl is almost always sticky, dirty or just generally in need of a full body hose down. Her big blue eyes were starting to turn sad and her little lip was quivering. She thought I was going to deny her a kiss. No matter how much I despise filth, I could never deny my little Pearl a kiss. I used my thumb and fore finger to secure her flailing little arms at the wrist and pulled my face to hers and gave her a kiss. She pressed her little face to mine, securing as much sauce on me as she could. I forced a smile before I grabbed a napkin to clean up.

"YAY!" Pearl screamed again before she dug back into her little cut up pieces of pizza. Pam had been snapping pictures of the whole thing; no doubt they would be filling our walls in no time. Both Pam and Sookie have an itchy trigger finger when it comes to cameras. We will need a bigger house before she is two, just to accommodate the pictures on the walls and storage for the photo albums. We finished our meal and bathed Pearl. She demanded to wear one of my shirts to bed again, which on her it dragged on the floor and appeared to be long sleeved. I put her in her bed, rolled her on her left side and started her music box. She was out like a light instantly. Classic conditioning. I turned on her night light on my way out of her room and practically skipped to Sookie. I was going to get laid tonight!

I walked into our room only to find Sookie sitting on my nightstand, with her hair in braided pig tails, wearing one of my white button down shirts tied in a knot under her luscious breast and a gray pleated skirt with paste pink knee high socks I didn't even know she had. She had what appeared to be a cherry blow pop in her mouth and she looked at me with feigned innocence and pulled the sucker out of her mouth with a 'pop' before she said.

"Oh Mr. Northman, I have been so bad." I walked over to her and said.

"Oh yes you have, I have never had a pupil as unruly as you." I walked over to her and roughly tossed her onto our bed. She sat up on her elbows and said.

"I can be a good girl, tell me what to do." I smirked at her and said.

"Undress me." She gave me a heated smile and reached for my shirt pulling it over my head. Her bottom lip was coyly pulled into her mouth. She untied the tie on my cargo shorts and pushed them down. My already achingly hard cock was already trying to escape my Pillsbury Dough Boy boxers, which were a gift from Sookie. She slid them down and took my length in her mouth as soon as it sprang free making me groan. She released me and looked at me for my next instruction. I smiled at her.

"Good girl, now you undress… slowly." I laid back on the bed and stretched out placing my clasped hands behind my head and watched her. She took in my erection, which was now standing at full attention and licked her lips before she started. She swayed her hips as she pulled the zipper on the side of her skirt, letting it gently flutter to the floor. She bent over exposing her already glistening folds to me, before she snapped back up flipping her hair sexily in the process. Next she untied the knot in my shirt, but didn't let it fall away; she held it flush to her breasts and climbed on top of me before she let it fall open and to her side.

She leaned forward and kissed the tattoos on the inside of each of my arms. I had Sookies name tattooed under the sun on my solar system a little before Pearl was born, because Sookie really is the center on my universe, my world revolves around her. It had taken her six months to notice the little script that I had adjusted from saying simply 'Sun' to 'Sookie', but after she did notice it she had cried and made a scene in Target, which made me wish I had either worn a shirt with sleeves or that I had just showed her after I had it done.

"Now what?" She whispered to me as we languidly kissed.

"Lay on your back and spread your legs for me." She did as she was told and said.

"Only for you." I kissed my way down her body and said.

"That's affirmative." Before I spread her folds with my thumbs and gave her one long lick, before I slid a finger in and captured her clit with my mouth. Sookie almost cried out, but clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. I smiled against her, feeling proud that I make her feel this way. I worked her for a while until she came to a brilliant completion. I rolled us over so I was sitting propped up against the head board and Sookie was in my lap, she looked at me with smoldering eyes and said.

"Now what?" I lifted her so she was just above my tip and said.

"Fuck me." She grasped my length and ran it along her slit a few times before she slid down my length, causing me to groan. Even after regular poundings from me and a baby, it was still like she was made for me. She was riding me hard and I knew she was getting close, she was moaning and whimpering and had to bite down on my shoulder to muffle her screams, but just as she bit me I threw my head back and heard.

"Mama no bite!" Sookie gasped and stopped moving. I was horrified, but still managed to look over and see my stunned looking daughter standing there with her stuffed Hamtaro in her hand.

"Pearl, go back to bed." I said gently. I didn't know what else to do. I had just sullied my daughters mind by fucking her Mother in front of her. How long had she been there? How much had she seen? How could I have missed the door opening and her walking in?

"Dwink." She said inching towards the bed. I however was still naked and inside of her Mother who was now beat red and shaking with embarrassment. I wanted her nowhere near the bed so I said.

"Go to your bed and it will be brought to you." She smiled and said.

"Otay, no bite Mama." She wagged her little finger at Sookie before she walked out of our room, closing the door behind her. Sookie looked up at me and groaned.

"Oh my God…" I nodded my head and said.

"I know." I grabbed my cell phone and called Pam, I know she was just down stairs, but I was not getting up and risking running into Pearl.

"What?" She said tersely into the phone.

"I need you to bring Pearl a glass of water." She huffed and said.

"What? No, you do it yourself, she's your kid." I had reached my breaking point and yelled.

"Damn it Pam, just do it! I can't look her in the eye right now!" She sounded confused when she asked.

"Wait, what happened? Are you okay?" I sighed and said.

"Please just do what I said and forget I ever called." Then she suddenly started laughing and I knew she had caught on to what had happened before she had even said it.

"Oh my God, she caught you two humping like monkeys didn't she?"

"Pam…" I groaned.

"How much did she see?" She asked.

"We don't know okay! We don't know how long she was there. She didn't make her presence known until she scolded Sookie for biting me." Sookie finally climbed off of me and curled into the fetal position on the bed, covering her face. I was feeling much the same way right now.

"Should I try to find out how much she saw?" Pam asked.

"I don't know… maybe?" I looked to Sookie and asked.

"Should we have Pam try to find out how much she saw?" She turned her head to me and said.

"I don't know, I guess it would be best to know what she saw to do damage control." I nodded and told Pam.

"Please do some recon, but be delicate, I don't want to make this worse than it has to be." She cackled into the phone and said.

"Okay, I'll give you my full report in the morning, Goodnight little bunnies." She laughed some more and hung up the phone. I plugged in my phone and laid flat on my back next to Sookie and said.

"On the upside, we will lock the door from now on and she will most likely not remember this long term, because she is so young." Suddenly Sookie started laughing and I joined her. I have to say this situation is pretty funny. When we finally calmed down Sookie looked at me and asked.

"Do you want to finish having sex?" I snorted and said.

"Not particularly, maybe tomorrow." Sookie sighed and said.

"Oh thank God, the mood was totally ruined." I laughed again and pulled her to me so we could fall asleep. I loved how Sookie could make even the worst experiences bearable. Then next morning we woke up and went down stairs. Now seeing as how it is late summer in Arizona, I usually eat my breakfast in my boxers, but after last night I put on some pajama pants and a t-shirt. Sookie also tossed on a robe, so I didn't feel quite so silly.

I walked into Pearls room and found it mercifully empty and her Hamtaro was also missing so that ment she was down stairs most likely with Pam. Sookie peeked around the corner and I raised an eyebrow at her and asked.

"You were going to make me field this all on my own if she had been in there?" Sookie gasped and said.

"I would never…" I cut her off and said.

"Don't lie to me." She sighed and resigned to the truth.

"Okay I was, but can you blame me?" I looked at her for a moment before I said.

"No." and headed towards the stairs. When we got down stairs I found my daughter covered in yogurt and shoving Trix cereal into her mouth. Pam was sitting next to her with the cup of yogurt and a spoon. She smirked at me and said.

"Pearl was telling me that you need to have soft hands when you hug Mommy." Pearl looked me in the eye and nodded her head before she took another spoonful of yogurt. I walked over to the coffee pot and poured a cup for Sookie and I. Pearls eyes never left me. Finally she said.

"Dada cold?" She was pointing at my breakfast attire which was well out of the norm.

"Umm, no." I said picking up the news paper and handing Sookie the funnies and her cup of coffee. She took the seat next to me. She burned red a moment later when Pam helped her down and Pearl walked over to Sookie and waved her finger at her again and said.

"Mama no bite!" Before she scurried over to the TV to watch the morning news, Sookie said it was odd for a child to despise children's programming, but I just think she has good taste. Pam was leaning back in her chair and I looked at her anxiously. She continued to be silent, I was ready to play the quiet game all day, but Sookie apparently was in no mood and whisper yelled.

"Out with it already Pam, what did she see!" Pam laughed and said.

"Not much that she could interpret. She told me she saw 'Dada giving Mama a rough hug' I assume you two were humping." I cringed and motioned for her to continue. "Then she said 'Mama bit Dada.' I asked why you bit him and she said 'cuz he squeezed.' I assume you were groping her within an inch of her life." I sighed and she laughed and said. "You two are in the clear, she was too young to even realize something was off about your embrace. I asked her about it again this morning and all she remembered was that 'Mama bit Dada.' So you two just lock the door from now on." She cackled and walked into the other room with Pearl and both Sookie and I let out a relived breath.

"Well at least our baby's not a pervert who stood and watched us for a long time." Sookie finally said after she finished her section of the paper.

"Agreed." I said, taking another sip of my coffee.

"Do you want to take Pearl to a Diamondbacks game tonight? Amelia still has those tickets." I nodded.

"That will be fun; she can wear that outfit she bought her also." Sookie groaned and said.

"Amelia has questionable taste in children's clothing." I nodded.

"I agree, but she has been bugging us about seeing her in it and this would be a good opportunity. After that we can say she spilled something on it on the way home and toss it out."

"Our baby will look like a slut!" She all but yelled.

"Calm down Lover, it is just a cheer leader's outfit; put an undershirt under it so there is no midriff. I am tired of hearing about it and this is an almost fitting environment for it." Sookie sighed and conceded.

"Fine." I smiled.

"Good now let's go take a shower."

"Together?" Sookie asked, I winked at her and took her hand. I said to Pam as we walked by.

"Watch Pearl for a few, we are going to shower." Pam laughed and said.

"Soft hands, Eric. No biting Sookie" Sookie blushed and I rolled my eyes. I did however make sure the door was secured and locked this time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I cannot choose, Daddy." My five year old daughter said to me.

"You must choose, I said you could bring only 5 books." I was trying to get her packed for our vacation we are leaving for in the morning. We are going to the Grand Canyon and Pearl is going to see snow for the first time.

"No, I need them all." She said crossing her arms and locking her face the way her Mother does when she is about to bully you into giving her, her way.

"No you don't we will only be gone for five days, that is one book per day. I am only bringing three, because we will be doing activities and there will not be a ton of time for reading." She huffed and said.

"Get Mommy, I want to talk to Mommy." She demanded with a stomp of her foot.

"Fine, but she will agree with me." Pearl gave me a look that said 'We'll see about that.' I narrowed my eyes before I called for Sookie.

"Lover, your daughter wishes to speak to you." Sookie came in with a smirk on her face and said.

"Oh, she's 'my' daughter now." She turned to Pearl and asked. "What did you do?" Pearl did her patented Pam eye roll and said.

"He is being unrealistic." She pointed to me with fire in her eyes and continued. "He wants me to only bring five books with me on our trip." Sookie tossed her hands up and said.

"I don't pack, I don't think about packing, and I don't have any say over what does get packed. If Daddy says only five books, then you only get to bring five books." I smiled smugly at my daughter and gave Sookie a kiss before she went back to her studio.

"I told you she would agree with me." I picked her sulking body up and set her on the bed and said. "Now little one, narrow it down and I might let you bring a sixth book to leave in the car." She lit up and gave me a kiss, before returning to pick through her piles of books. I turned back to her closet and selected five outfits and three emergency outfits for her, including some spare shoes and multiple extra pairs of socks and underwear. She has only recently started to grow out of the need to be perpetually bathed, but I don't want to take any chances.

That night all of our bags were by the door, except for Pam's who would most likely be shoving things into a bag while I warm up the car, and then have to buy things when we get there. I laid out Pearls outfit for tomorrow after I rolled her on her side and started her music box. Then I went into our room and found Sookie plucking her eyebrows, and covered from the waist down in wax strips. Sexy. I went to our closet and pulled out our outfits for tomorrow and laid them across the trunk at the foot of our bed and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I did my nightly routine, but was caught by Sookie on the way out.

"Baby, pull my cooter wax strips off, I can't bring myself to do it." I looked at her, then down to her crotch which was covered in a smattering of cloth wax strips, and back up to her.

"No, thank you." I said and started to walk away, but she caught me again and said.

"Baby, please!" She looked at me with pleading eyes and I knew I was going to have to rip the hair from my lover's crotch. I knelt in front of the counter to get a better look at what I was dealing with and asked.

"Okay, how do I do this?" She was panting and sweating.

"Pull against the grain." She said.

"Pubic hair has a grain?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and made a motion for me to pull one of the strips up towards her face. I grasped the end of the strip and looked to her face for approval. She just gave me a 'do it already' look, so I shrugged and pulled. The ripping sound was bad, but not as bad as the blood curdling scream that came from my lover. I tossed the strip like it was made of hot lava and fell on my ass. I held up my hands and said.

"I am sorry, but I won't to that to you again." She shot daggers at me and hissed.

"I do this for you! Now help me!" I shook my head and stood firm. I was NOT going to be doing that to her again.

"I will not, why didn't you go to that salon?" She rolled her eyes and mumbled.

"I missed my appointment because I forgot."

"What?" I asked. She tossed a decorative soap at me and hissed.

"I forgot, I knew I had something to do all day, but didn't remember until the place was closed and this shit was getting real." She said pointing to her vagina.

"This is horrific; I do not understand why you do it." I said crossing my arms across my chest as I sat on the floor in our bathroom looking up at Sookie who was still spread eagle on the counter.

"I do this for you! You like me smooth!" I furrowed my brows and whisper yelled.

"I have no preference! You were already like this when I got you so I assumed this was your preference!" I was wildly motioning my arm in front of her crotch. For some reason Sookie just knew how to push my buttons. There was no logic when it came to her, she would make an awful Vulcan.

"But you liked it!" She yelled, seemingly forgetting our child was sleeping and more than likely Pam was listening at our door.

"Oh no, I love you vagina! Let's think back to all the adjectives I use to describe it shall we, tight, wet, perfect, ambrosia, mine…" She cut me off and said.

"I don't think Mine is an adjective, I think it's a possessive pronoun." I tossed my hands in the air and shot off the ground pacing and hissed at her.

"Whatever! My point it, as long as the pussy is there the frame really doesn't matter to me!" With that I grabbed another one of the strips and ripped it off before stomping out of the bathroom while Sookie let out a noise only dog's could hear. I flopped on our bed and placed my head in my hands. I have read hundreds of book on relationships, but still nothing has been able to shed light on Sookie for me. I heard her shuffling over to me and I felt her try to remove my head from my hands, but seeing as how I am much stronger and larger than her, I don't have to if I don't want to, and I don't want to.

"Baby, I love you."

"I love you too." I mumbled, she knows I like to freeze her out, but as a matter of principal I will never ever NOT return an I love you to her unless I truly no longer love her, which I am pretty sure would be impossible at this point, in fact I think I may have fallen in love with her when I saw her trying to comfort herself on the roof the first day we met and I never even noticed it.

"Baby, I'm sorry." I ignored her and rolled on my stomach.

"I love you." She said in a sing song voice.

"I love you too." I replied tersely, She figured out the I love you angle a few months ago and has been using it to her advantage ever since.

"Will you please rip off the last four strips?" She asked sweetly, I continued to ignore her.

"Please baby? I love you so much." I let out a long sigh and sat up. I roughly flipped her on her back and forced her legs open. She was looking up at me stunned. She clearly had not been expecting this. She will see that I can also be completely unpredictable.

"Baby?" She squeaked out as I grabbed the bottom of one of the strips. I looked deep into her eyes and said.

"I love you." As I ripped it off of her. I did the other three in rapid succession telling her I love her each time. Her eyes were watering and I felt bad, but she had brought this on herself and I tried to have no part in it, but she would not allow that. Her little lip was quivering as she choked out.

"Kiss the boo boo." I smiled and shook my head before I bent down and kissed her red, swollen, angry vagina and asked.

"All better?" She shook her head and said.

"No, it fucking hurts." I quirked an eyebrow at her and asked.

"You kiss your daughter with that mouth?" She frowned and defiantly said.

"Fuck yes I do." I rolled my eyes, but removed her bra and shirt. I got up from the bed and retrieved one of my grey t-shirts for her to sleep in and put it over her head. She looked like a wounded kitty when I pulled her up to her pillow and tucked her in. I quickly stripped to my boxers and climbed in next to her, hitting the button on the remote next to my bed to turn the lights off. It was a necessity to have all of the lights in the house wired to a remote, because Sookie thinks she owns the electric company and it was taking forever every night for me to follow her trail through the house and turn off every light she had flipped on since I turned them all off at lunch. I curled up behind her to snuggle and said into her ear.

"You piss me off, but you're the love of my life." She giggled and said.

"I know, I really can't help it." I chuckled and said.

"Oh, I know." She turned over a little and placed a soft kiss on my lips and sweetly said.

"You're the love of my life too." I looked at her seriously and said.

"I would hope so." She smiled and kissed me again before settling in to sleep. In the morning it was going to be a Northman road trip.

"Pamela, you have four minutes before we leave without you! Sookie where is Pearl?" I called up the stair case as I mad dogged Pam's door.

"I don't know Eric! Have you seen my red belt?" I rolled my eyes and said.

"Sookie, I put it on top of the clothes I laid out for you. Look on the ground to see if it fell." I waited a second and heard exactly what I thought I would.

"BINGO! Thanks Baby!" I turned to find Pearl.

"Never a problem Lover, Pearl, where are you?" I turned around when I heard some shuffling by Pam's door; I nearly died when I saw the horrors that walked out hand in hand.

"Pamela, what did you do to my baby?" I growled out as I took in my five year old daughter who was wearing more make-up than a mime and baby sized stilettos to match her child sized black tube dress that matched what Pam was wearing. They both looked like absolute tramps, but Pearl was not old enough to look like a tramp.

"It's our special 'Auntie and Me' outfits!" Pam excitedly beamed. Sookie was flying down the stairs trying to put in an earring when she caught sight of our daughter and tripped and fell as she gasped out.

"What the fuck?" I caught her before she hit the bottom and righted her.

"Hi Mama!" Pearl yelled as she jumped into her Mothers stunned arms.

"Hello Baby Girl, what are you wearing?" Sookie gritted out, her eyes never leaving Pam, who looked like she really didn't give a shit what we thought.

"I am matching Auntie Pam today, just like when we wear our matching Easter dresses!" I scowled at Pam. This was nothing like that. When Sookie and Pearl dressed the same for Easter it was precious watching Sookie help her hunt for eggs in their matching blue sundresses with little pink bunnies on them. Right now my little sister and my little girl look like they should be walking Vanburan at night. Sookie reached behind her and grabbed my half drunk and now cold cup of coffee and like the maser that she is, she 'tripped' and spilled it on Pearl who screamed.

"AHHHH MESSY, CLEAN NOW! CLEAN ME NOW! GET IT OFF!" She started to rip at her clothes and I helped her get it off and carried her trembling form up to the bath while Sookie had some terse words with Pamela. Pearl seems to have inherited my mild OCD and hatred for all things filthy. I started the tub and placed her in it. She filled her little star trek cup and started pouring water over her head and huffed out.

"Soap please Daddy." I pumped out some of her shampoo and rubbed it into her wispy blond hair. She was frowning and I could already tell that she would be in a mood for the rest of the morning, but it was worth it for her to not look like a street walker. I will have to reward Sookie for her quick thinking with one of those 'high fives' she seems to crave so much. I cleaned her from head to toe and dressed her in her sock monkey footie pajamas so she would be comfortable as we drove and maybe even sleep a little.

I realize just how young she is at times like this, sometimes she is like a little adult, but right now she has her thumb in her mouth and is holding her arm out indicating that she wants me to pick her up. She rests her head on my shoulder and hugs me tight as I tuck her Hamtaro in between my body and hers; she secures it with her elbow, never removing her thumb from her mouth. She looks truly sullen. I carry her back down stairs and she hides her face in the crook of my neck. I smile down at her and ask.

"Now are we ready to go?" Sookie lets out a sigh and nods. We walk out to the garage and I see Pam sitting in the last row of our Volkswagen minivan, with her ear-buds in and her arms crossed. I can see that she is now wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. I raise an eyebrow at Sookie who just smiles and shrugs. I get pearl into the car and secure her in her booster seat. Now we are on our way, we head up the I-17 north on our way to our first family vacation.

**Three hours later**

"Dear God, why did I agree to this!" Pam groaned with her hoodie pulled up over her face. Pearl had gotten a bit car sick and didn't exactly tell anyone before she tried to issue a formal challenge to Mt. St. Helen.

"Pam you shut your pie hole! She is just a little girl and you don't need to make her feel worse." Sookie scolded as she plucked her out of her seat and passed her to me so I could take her into the rest room and clean her while Sookie manned the car. Pearl was sobbing and screaming by this time. I knew she was distraught about being covered in vomit and not necessarily the actual act of vomiting itself. In fact based on personal experience, I'm pretty sure she feels much better now. I took her into the men's room of the Denny's we stopped at and started to clean her. I didn't worry about stripping her down in the open, because her piercing screams were keeping any males with restroom related needs at bay while I worked my Daddy magic.

"Who is Daddy's little Pearl?" I asked as I smoothed out her fresh set of clothes and trashed her PJ's. They were done for, we won't have access to a washer and dryer for days and they would need it ASAP.

"I am." She sniffled and smoothed her hair in the mirror.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. She nodded and held her arms out. I pulled her Hamtaro out of my pocket and passed it to her. She smiled and cuddled into my chest. When I walked out Sookie looked frazzled and was seated in a booth with a smug looking Pam. I scooted in next to Sookie and filled the Lilliputian booth with my massive frame. I tried to disengage Pearl, but it seemed better not to rock the boat with her right now. If she needed a cuddle then she could have it.

"How is she?" Sookie asked rubbing her back and placing a kiss on her head.

"Better, but now she's hungry." Sookie laughed and said.

"I bet she is! I saw what came out, I don't remember feeding her half the stuff in there and I think she may have eaten a Barbie shoe." Peal looked up at her Mother with a serious face and said.

"It did not taste pink." And with that, all of the tension from the first leg of our Northman family vacation was cut and we all laughed. Pearl obviously did not understand our amusement and cocked one of her tiny little eyebrows at me. She may look just like Sookie, but many of her mannerisms are all mine.

"Little one, please refrain from eating your doll's accessories. We only eat food from the kitchen, okay?" She nodded and snuggled back down into my shoulder, shutting her eyes and drifting in and out. We spoke quietly until they came to take our order. Pearl would just have a little of what Sookie and I ordered, because we knew if we ordered her, her own meal that it would mostly go to waste, because she would much rather eat our food. That is fine with me, she is small and does not eat much and it prevents monetary waste.

When our food came we asked Pearl what she wanted, she asked for a piece of my bacon, some of Sookies eggs that were slathered in Tabasco (I don't know how she can eat that shit) and half of Pam's English muffin. We all set out to dig in, but Pearl just sat there and stared at her food.

"Pearl, is something amiss with your meal?" I finally asked her.

"It's not from our kitchen." She replied and stared longingly at it. I smiled and said.

"Yes Little one, that is true, but this is from Denny's kitchen so you may eat it. The food just has to be from 'A KITCHEN' not necessarily ours." She smiled and tentatively picked up her bacon and took a hesitant bite, her eyes never leaving mine. I nodded and motioned for her to continue and that seemed to squelch her fears, because she dug right in and later moved onto Sookies lap to pick at her potatoes.

"Eric, how much longer until we're there?" Pam asked as I secured Pearl back into her seat.

"About four or five hours." I stated and looked back at Pearl and took her book out of her hands and said. "No more reading for you until we get there." She looked at me like I had just snapped the neck of a kitten in front of her and asked.

"But Daddy why?"

"Because, I don't want you getting sick again." She stared at me and said.

"I won't I promise." I shook my head and said.

"No, but I will let you pick the music, what is your choice?" She crossed her arms and said.

"Spice Girls." I saw Sookie pump her fist, and Pearl gave me a defiant look with a smug smile as I secured all of her straps. I started the car and groaned when Sookie started the music. She bopped along, but I just wished to meet my maker. Pam was grinning like a fool when Pearl started to sing the words. I just groaned and Pam said.

"Oh Eric, you are a party pooper. Say Daddy's a party pooper Pearl." Pam provoked from the back seat. Pearl looked at her skeptically and caught my eyes in the mirror before asking.

"Daddy, did you really poop on a party? I'm only supposed to poopie in the potty." I burst out laughing and had to yet again pull the car over to let it pass. Sookie was doubled over clutching her sides; Pam however just looked stoic and said to Pearl.

"Yes he did, don't you have a birthday coming up?" She asked Pearl innocently.

"I do!" She exclaimed. She turned in her seat as much as possible and said.

"Daddy, DO NOT poop on my party! I mean it." She was waving her little finger and frowning. I tried to hold in my laughter and said.

"I will try my best." Pearl narrowed her eyes and said.

"Do or do not, there is no try." I whipped my head back to her with pride and Sookie burst out laughing again. I knew playing the world's greatest movies through headphones into Sookies womb while she was pregnant was a great idea! I smiled at her proudly and said.

"That is correct little one." She smiled and said.

"No poopin' okay." I raised my hands in mock surrender as I pulled back onto the highway and said.

"I promise not to poop on your party." She smiled and said.

"Good, mommy I want olli ollies for my birthday."

"Raviolis', and that's fine. What kind of theme do you want? Barbies or kittens maybe?" Sookie asked hopefully. However Pearl had had one sound obsession lately and I could guess what the theme of my daughters fourth birthday.

"No thank you, I want Jurassic Park please. Extra raptors." She caught my eye in the rear view mirror again and said.

"Stay out of the tall grass Daddy."

"Will do, little one." I retorted. The fact that she was obsessed with one of my favorite movie franchises only served to fuel the fire that I did have the best child on the planet. I will have to crunch some numbers and do some research, but perhaps I should broach the subject of creating another human with Sookie, who in this moment looked pained and asked.

"Are you sure you don't want Disney princess' or something?" Pearl shook her head and said.

"No thank you Mommy." Sookie sighed and said.

"Okay, if that's what you want I'll make it happen." Pearl squealed and screamed.

"Thank you Mommy! I love you!" Sookie smiled and reached over to hold my hand and said.

"I love you too, Princess." Pearl held up her hands in little claws close to her body and flopped them up and down while saying.

"I'm not a princess; I'm a T-rex… RAWRRRR!" I beamed at her and Sookie quietly laughed and said.

"Anything for you, baby." Miraculously the rest of the trip went by without incident, and we only arrived at the cabin two hours late, which was actually one hour early, because when I told everyone of the schedule I gave them three hours of wiggle room. If I had given them the real time we would have been late for sure. I checked us into our cabin and let the girl's ohhh and ahhh over everything while I unpacked our clothes so they would not wrinkle and lined up our toiletries properly in the bathroom. I also switched out the roll of toilet paper with a roll of Charmin, because I have a strong dislike for bargain basement toilet paper. I went and repeated the process in Pam and Pearls room; however after the shenanigans Pam pulled this morning I'm not so sure it's a good thing to have them share a room anymore. I return to the front room where Sookie is showing Pearl how to draw on the frosted windows. I smile at my girls and say.

"Ready to bundle up and see the snow?" Pearl squeals and flops out of Sookies arms onto the floor with a thud. All three of us shot towards her, Sookie was first but Pearl pushed her away and took off like a shot towards her room to get dressed. It will never cease to amaze me that she can test the integrity of the floor with her head and seem unfazed, but a splinter can be more dramatic than living in Hollywood. Sookie shrugged and rolled her eyes before she followed Pearl. I looked over at Pam and said.

"You will need to wear something warmer than that." I pointed to her sweat shirt and jeans. I myself had already changed into my snow clothes. They were all back except for a red 'S' on each on my butt cheeks. I didn't have to think too hard to know that Sookie picked these special for me. Sookie and Pearl walked out a few moments later in matching snow clothes. They were both head to toe in white with red 'E's on their tushies. I laughed at them and helped Pearl get her gloves on. She seemed entranced with moving her fingers in them. Then I helped Sookie with hers before I put my own on. Pam came out a while later wearing a pink snow suit half unzipped so her cleavage was hanging out and showed her playboy bunny bikini top. I sighed and took Pearls hand before asking.

"Should we build snow men first?" Pearl looked up and said.

"I want to build a snow otterbot." Sookie laughed and corrected.

"Autobot, come with Mommy I'll help you." Pearl, unfortunately is about as artistic as I am, so Sookie did most of the work on our 'otterbot'. It turned out great! We had to practically force Pearl inside. She was trembling and her teeth were chattering by the time we finally got her inside. I sat her in front of the fire place and built a fire while Sookie went and made some hot chocolate. I stripped Pearl out of her snow soaked clothes and wrapped her in a blanket before I went upstairs and changed out of my own wet clothes and brought some fresh clothes down for Pearl.

I picked the trail of Sookies wet clothes up and draped them over the shower rod before I removed my own and changed. I slipped into some dark wash jeans and a blue long sleeved sweater. Sookie said it brought out my eyes, I however found it to be my least itchy sweater option. I grabbed Pearls pink leggings and her mini mouse sweatshirt before I went back down stairs. My feet touched the cold wood of the stairs and I quickly went upstairs and got a pair of socks for both Pearl and myself. I also grabbed a pair for Sookie, knowing that even if she had felt how cold the wood was and it bothered her she would still ignore it and press on.

I got down stairs and Sookie was holding Pearl and rubbing her back while she sipped her hot chocolate. Her cup had no marshmallows because she did not care for them, mine had exactly six just the way I like it and Sookies of course was about 60% marshmallow to Hot chocolate ratio. I smiled at Sookie and held of the socks for her. She mouthed 'thank you' and snatched them before she immediately slid them onto her feet with a groan. I quickly dressed Pearl and returned her to her confines of the blanket. She must have been completely spent because she crapped out in front of the fire only about a third of the way through her hot chocolate, which was a shock to me, because much like Sookie she would rather die than waste chocolate.

Sookie stood up and took the cup, placing it onto the coffee table before she turned to me and made a little humping motion and mouthed. 'wanna' fuck?'. Who was I to deny her? I checked to make sure Pearl was sleeping one more time before I stood and followed Sookie up to our room. She quickly pulled me into a kiss and said.

"I want more kids and I want to do this trip every year." Her eyes were serious and she had a fire that let me know she was serious.

"I have also been cogitating upon this point lately." She looked confused and asked.

"Is that a yes? Are we going to try to make another baby?" I lifted her sweater over her head and said.

"Yes, I would like more children with you. The first one was such a success that another could only go better now that we know all of the things they do not tell you in books." She flopped back on the bed with her legs wide open and asked.

"Are you ready to do all the hard work Eric?" I snorted and laughed and said.

"Oh yes Sookie, my part of this process is such hard work. Damn near torture." She smiled and said.

"You're getting so good at sarcasm!" I beamed proudly and pulled her pants off before I said.

"I have been practicing." She pulled me into another kiss and said.

"I love you so much, you are so cute." I was done being cute for her, when Sookie thinks I'm cute she starts telling me I'm precious and talking way too much. Now is a time for fucking before Pearl wakes up. She usually naps for about 74 minutes, leaving us with 63 minutes to fuck and clean ourselves up before Peal will be in need of our attentions again.

"I am not cute, I am very sexy and I am about to fuck you." I said as I ripped her shirt off.

"Well, okay then." She said in a stunned voice and licked her lips. "How long do we have?"

"62 minutes, now shut your mouth and let me do my work." And let me work she did. The next time she opened that pretty little mouth of hers was to scream my name. 49 minutes later we were in the shower and I was cleaning Sookie up.

"What if we just made a baby?" She excitedly squealed.

"I doubt it, even if you stopped taking your pills right now it would take a month or so for your cycle to regulate, but I enjoyed the warm up." She seemed to frown and started to look sad and I tried to comfort her.

"But you never know Sook, I may have sniper like accuracy." She smiled and nodded her head and rubbed her tummy a little. I placed my hand over hers and said.

"It will happen soon, just relax." She took in a deep breath, but her eyes looked determined.

"Okay, I'm relaxed right now."

"You don't look relaxed." I stated as I turned off the water and grabbed a towel for her.

"I'm relaxed!" She growled at me.

"Do you always yell when you're relaxed?" I asked with a smirk. She huffed and said.

"I do things how I want and if I want to yell while I'm relaxed than I will." I raised and eyebrow and said.

"Well okay then Pearl." Sookie whipped around and looked at me and said.

"Again with the sarcasm! That's two today!" She smiled at me.

"I told you I had been practicing."

"I'm really glad you're my best friend." Sookie said pulling me down to her.

"As am I." I replied just before I kissed her. As if on cue exactly 76 minuets after she fell asleep, Pearl bounded into our room and asked.

"What's next on the agenda?" I pulled a shirt over my head and said.

"We're going to go out for dinner, then watch a movie and go to bed. Tomorrow we will take a trip to see the Grand Canyon, and then we will play in the snow the rest of the time. Would you like to take Skiing lessons with your mother on Wednesday?" She looked thoughtful for a moment before she said.

"I would like to observe the activity before I make a firm commitment." I nodded and said.

"You may watch me or Pam that morning." She nodded and asked.

"What's for dinner?" I rolled my eyes and said.

"Sizzler, it was your Mothers choice." Sookie scoffed and smacked me on the arm and said.

"This is the only Sizzler left in Arizona that's not all the way out by metro center. Just let me have my fun." I smiled at her indulgently and said.

"As you wish lover." She took Pearls hand and said.

"Okay, let's put your hair up before we go." She walked Pearl into the bathroom and set her on the counter and started to brush her hair. She turned to me and said. "Call your sister and tell her to get her ass home or she's going to have to go hungry." I pulled out my cell and called Pam. She answered her phone in her usual manner and said.

"What do you want?"

"We are getting ready to go out to dinner and Sookie says to get home or you shall have to go hungry." There was silence on the line and she asked.

"Where are you going?"

"Sizzler." I replied in a flat tone.

"I will be home in fifteen, do not leave without me."

"Will do." I replied and shut my phone. Was I honestly the only one who did not care for sizzler? I walked back into our room and saw Pearl with two adorable blond pig tails sticking straight out of the sides of her head. I smiled at her while Sookie was brushing her wispy little bangs.

"Daddy, where is auntie Pammy?" Pearl asked, while Sookie checked for symmetry. Not because she feels like it need to be symmetrical, but if Pearl thinks it is off she will make a snit until it is corrected. Plus, it will grate my nerves like no other.

"She is on her way to join us for dinner." She smiled and asked.

"Do you like my Mini Mouse sweater? Mama said it brings out my eyes." I looked down at my own Blue sweater and raised an eyebrow at her. Apparently if Sookie wants you to wear something she tells you it brings out your eyes.

"Yes Pearl, it is lovely." She turned on the counter and made some final adjustments to her pig tails before pulling some lip smackers chap stick out of her Barbie fanny pack and applying it in the same manner that her mother was applying her lipstick right next to her. She even mimicked the little popping noise Sookie made as she rubbed her lips together to spread the color evenly. Sookie tucked her lipstick into her purse as Pearl slipped hers back into her fanny pack.

"Get yo' asses down here, I'm ready to get my Sizzler on!" Pam yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Pearl popped off the counter and sauntered out of the room. I helped Sookie get her coat on and grabbed my own and headed down stairs. Pearl and Pam were prattling on about something that was most likely not appropriate for her five year old ears. I walked past them and started the car. When it was warm I texted Sookie and the girls came out to join me. A few minutes later I pulled in and paid for us. Pam and Sookie had broken off together leaving Pearl and I to make our selections. I gauged her reactions and put the things she eye balled the most on my plate. I know I could make her, her own plate, but I know she will not touch it, even if it is food she likes. She would just rather eat off of our plates.

I was holding Pearls hand and holding my tray as I walked up to Sookie and Pam who were putting ungodly amounts of cheese sauce on baked potatoes. I smiled and laughed at them and directed Pearl to a table. I scooted her into her inside of the booth and removed our drinks and food from the tray. A young woman came by and admired my daughter and said.

"Your wife and daughter are lovely." She said wistfully. I saw the ring on her finger and I assume she wishes to have children of her own. I smiled and said.

"Thank you, but she is not my wife, we are just best friends." Sookie came up just then and slid into the booth and smiled at the young girl who blushed and walked away. Sookie and Pam emptied their trays, but no sooner had they sat down Pearl asked.

"Mama, what is a 'wife'?" Sookie looked briefly concerned so I said.

"Some Mommy's and Daddy's like to get married and after you get married you become husband and wife." She grabbed a crouton off of my plate and dipped it in Sookies cheese and asked.

"Why don't you want to marry Mommy?" She popped the little piece of crisped cheesy bread into her mouth and chewed. Her watchful little eyes never leaving mine.

"It's just not the right decision for us." I said with what I thought was finality.

"Are Bill's parents married?" I cringed; Bill was a weird kid that clung onto Pearl in kindergarten. He is such a weirdo. He strikes me as the type who will grow up into a serial killer or rapist.

"I do not care for Bill." I said to her.

"Neither do I." She said, I was instantly filled with relief and she continued. "But he is the only person I know who also has both a Mommy and a Daddy." Ah yes, sometimes I forget the divorce rate is so high. Remind me to put that on my list of reasons not to marry Sookie.

"I believe his parents are married, but Hoyt only has a Mommy and Jessica only has a Daddy and you like them. Their parents aren't married."Sookie said, she smiled at the mention of her two best friends and said.

"Your right, I do not want you to get married, Bills parents are weird, but Jessica's Daddy is nice and so is Hoyts Mom." She turned to Pam and asked.

"Aunt Pammy, can you get married?" Pam smirked and said.

"No it is not legal for me to get married because I am a lesbian." She looked thoughtful and said.

"But you love Auntie Amelia, and mommy and Daddy love each other… so getting married is for people who don't love each other."

"No." Sookie and I both said quickly. I looked to her for help and she took the reins. "Marriage is like ice cream, some people like it some don't, just like chocolate ice cream, you and I like it, but your father and Pam do not. Understand?" Pearl nodded and said.

"Ya I get it now, different strokes for different folks, right Pammy?" Pam took another bite of her cheese with a little potato and said.

"That's right my love." Pearl sat up on her heels and leaned over the table offering Pam a kiss. Pam accepted it with a smile and continued with her food. Pearl then kissed both Sookie and I before really digging in. I knew that this would come up some day, but it went surprisingly well.

Our vacation had begun to feel like an after school special; lucky for us Pearl broke her arm skiing 2 days later and asked us to get her a cast for her leg for her birthday. I almost vomited. I thought watching her bump her head was bad, holding her while she cried over an injury sustained during an activity that was my idea was the worst. We went home a little shaken and Pearl was tired of me following her around and created a 'no boys' space in her room. It however did not stop me from pacing around her door.

Six weeks later we went to get the cast off and I nearly jumped for joy. I was bringing Pearl home from her celebratory shaved ice when Sookie kicked open the garage door and screamed.

"Eric, I'm pregnant!"

_**Okay everyone, I need ideas for the new baby's name, another girl and I want to know if you have any other shenanigans you want these two to get into. I have caught up to the age and events of the people I based this Eric and Sookie after so I can wing it from here.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Seven months three days and 54 minuets later Pearl and I were seated and making a birth plan for her little sister. Just like I always knew we would make loads of beautiful little girls. Sookie however was convinced for months that it was a boy all the way until I forked out the cash for a three dimensional ultra sound and she could see with her own eyes that there was absolutely no way that there was a penis attached to the fetus within her. To say Sookie was perturbed was an understatement; she even went as far as to threaten to "Drop kick the baby back to Jesus." If she even thought about coming out a girl. Pearl was fear stricken by this admission and walked on egg shells for days in fear that her Mother was going to drop kick her to Jesus. It did not help that Pearl was being moody at the dinner table one night and Sookie said.

"You know I can bury you in the back yard and make another one that looks just like you if you're going to keep this shit up." She did this while pointing to her stomach. I do have to say it was and affective parenting tool because Pearl has not pushed around or tired to hide a vegetable since. I was brought out of my musing by my sweet angles voice speaking to me.

"Daddy, the baby will need to be born by October 16th because that will give Mommy enough time to get over that new baby smell and still come trick or treating with us." I nodded, I had promised Pearl that her new sister would not 'ruin' her life as she had first suspected. My daughter was usually very pragmatic and rational like me, but recently she has been testing out her flair for theatrics much like her mother. Whereas I love Sookie with every fiber of my very being, I do wish that was a trait she had not passed on to our children.

"If Mommy need's to stay home with Jewel I will still take you. Have you created your route and map for this year?" She nodded and pulled her leather binder out of her brief case she uses for school and handed me a copy of the map she had made. She always keeps the originals for herself. I got her a file cabinet for her room for her 6th birthday and she has been putting it to good use. I briefly looked it over and said.

"Is this a half mile or a quarter?" She put on her "reading glasses" which were really just a pair of Barbie sunglasses I popped the lenses out of for her when she told me she wanted "special eyes, like Daddy".

"As you see here each square represents four square feet." I took another glance quickly doing the math and said.

"A full mile is too long, make it a loop or shave it in half because we will have to make the trip back. Have the changes to me in no less than a week so we can plan accordingly." She made some notes on the paper and slipped it back into her bag and said.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Angel?" I replied.

"Will I still be your special Pearl after Jewel is born?" I sighed and stood from my seat and picked up my not quite so little girl up from her chair and held her close to my body squeezing her in the almost too tight way that I know she loves and said.

"No one will ever take that from you." She wrapped her long lanky legs around me and cried silent tears into my neck. I knew better than to address her emotions by this point in time that would surly result in a temper tantrum when she tries to mask her sadness and fear with anger. I rocked her from side to side and whispered to her in Swedish until she calmed. Finally she calmed and wiped her snot all over my shirt. I shuttered, but over the years my OCD had gotten both better and worse at the same time. I was less obsessive about my environment; however my obsession with Sookie, Pearl and Pam had grown considerably worse. So much so that Pam had to move back in with us after she finished her Masters and tried to move out. I added an apartment over the garage for her and Amelia who was now an active part of our family now that they are planning their commitment ceremony.

"I would like to sanitize Jewel's area again please." Pearl said as she looked up and wiggled a little bit so I would let her down. I complied and got the Clorox wipes for her and kissed her on the head as she went to meticulously clean her sister's nursery for the thousandth time. I quickly stripped my soiled shirt off of myself and put a fresh shirt on. I walked into the family room and turned on the history channel and watched the new episode of 'ancient aliens' until Sookie walked in and said.

"I have groceries in the car, do you accept the challenge?" I smirked at her and said.

"How many trips do you think?" She looked thoughtful and said.

"Three at the least." I got up and said.

"Challenge accepted, I'll do it in one!" Sookie rolled her eyes and set her purse and keys in the entry way as I went outside to tackle the beast that is groceries. Like I said, I got them all in one trip. I may now have a hernia and multiple broken fingers, but I have a fulfilled sense of being a man. I helped Sookie put the groceries away despite my now very weak feeling arms. I noticed that she had bought lots of candy, ricearoni, chocolate milk and frozen corn dogs. I rolled my eyes and said.

"Sookie none of this was on the list I made you. I knew I should have never let you go alone…" I trailed off as I discovered yet another gallon of chocolate milk and a bag full of nothing but Twix bars.

"You know I don't like lists and…"

"And what?" I cut her off. "We can't feed Pearl this shit and you know how sensitive Pam is to sugar. She is going to be bouncing off the walls!" Sookie had apparently lost interest in me and cracked one of the jugs of milk and shrugged before she started to chug it straight from the bottle. When she finished she wiped her mouth and said in baby talk.

"MMMM, baby likey." I watched her struggle with a jar of preserves before I took it from her and open it. nearly vomiting when she dunks a mini gherkin pickle into it. Sookies cravings have been all over the place this time. She even went three weeks eating nothing but chili dogs, she did however spend the three weeks after that trying to take a decent shit. Watching a very pregnant Sookie struggle over a poo in the morning and cry over it was a memory I find so funny I use it to cheer me up when I have a rough day at work, which have been more common lately since Sookie quit to be a full time mother. It has only been one semester without her so far, but I miss having her dance into my room during the day. I honestly don't know how I survived the day before her. I even find myself pouting at my desk and knocking my own fruit on the floor during lunch in a vain effort to feel like she is close. I have been called clingy by others, but I just see it as keeping my interests close. At the end of the day all the money and people in the world mean nothing is I don't have my girls, so I always make sure to keep my priorities straight.

The rest of the month comes and goes and we are approaching Sookies due date quickly. It comes and goes. She is becoming more eager to get Jewel out of her. The 16th comes and goes also and Pearl is now regularly staring daggers at her mother's stomach. October 31st is here and still no baby, she is now almost two and a half weeks late and Sookie is going to be induced in the morning.

I was dressing Pearl in her Halloween costume. This year she is a vampire… just like auntie Pam, Amelia is going as a witch and Sookie is a just wearing a white t-shirt some shorts and a green apron. She says she's a waitress, but Pearl thinks she is just phoning it in this year, however looking at the state Sookie is in who can blame her. Pam bought me some fangs, and I agreed to wear them, but I will still wear normal clothes. I think vampires would try to blend in if they were real. I can only imagine the pandemonium if vampires were openly living amongst their food source. Pam said I was over thinking it, but I just saw it as pragmatic.

We began our trek as mapped out by Pearl. Pam hissed at the children and scared them. I kept tugging at Amelia's outfit that was far too skimpy for my taste. I did not like the way one of the men dressed as a werewolf was looking at her. She belonged to my sister and I would defend her honor just as I would Pam's. However, with her ass hanging out it was making my job incredibly hard. She kept swatting my hands away, but I was persistent. We got about half way through the loop Pearl had designed when a couple of fucking fairies came running down the street and smashed right into Sookie causing Pam to take off after them like a shot, Amelia and Pearl were hot on her heel's when I went help Sookie who was now laying on her side on the ground. She was crying and I just picked her up bridal style and asked.

"Lover, are you harmed?" She sniffled and said.

"I'm going to scab!" She held up her arm that had a nasty scrape on it. I adjusted her in my arms to get a better look when I felt a gush of warm liquid on my arm and down the front of me. I sighed and said.

"I knew you could not be trusted." Sookie suddenly stopped crying and burst out laughing. I walked over to where Pam was clawing at the fairies while Pam hit them with wand. Pearl was cursing at them like a sailor for "fucking with her and hers". I sighed and gave the male fairy a swift kick and said.

"We must return, Mommy's water has broken." Pearl stood up and handed her candy bag to Amelia, Opting instead to hold Sookies free hand as we walked home. Pearl never took her eyes off of her mother and when we got into the car she was resting her hands on her mother's stomach. We pulled into Gilbert Mercy hospital and got checked in. This time Sookie was not nearly as worked up. She did get me once with a junk punch, but I considered it a small victory that she could only get me once. My reflexes were obviously improving, that or Sookie is getting slow with age. I like to think it's the former.

Finally Jewel Candelabra Northman was born a short eight hours later. I again relinquished the middle name to Sookie who I think is just trying to piss me off now. Jewel was nothing like Pearl, first she looked just like me and Pam. Second, she was wild and out of control like Sookie. Pearl was an easy quiet baby. Jewel however saw fit to cry almost nonstop and never sleep for more than two seconds at a time. She also had a nasty habit of taking a dump on the changing table as soon as you got the diaper off of her. However, she was docile sometimes… only when Pearl was with her.

Pearl had taken a vested interest in her sister. We later found out that she was scarred the mean fairies had hurt Jewel before she even got a chance to see if she liked her. As a result she was now trying to be the best big sister she could be. However much like Sookie Jewel was not one for lists of schedules. Sookie and Jewel seemed to be two peas in a pod much like Pearl and myself.

One night I walked into Jewel nursery after hearing her cry, she had stopped but I thought she just needed a breather, but when I walked in I found Pearl standing on a step stool near her crib with her hamtaro. She was trying to get jewel to hold onto it and was saying.

"Hold it, you can have him now. I'm a big girl and you need him more now." I saw pearl finally just stick him under her back a little and Jewel let out a man sized fart and sighed. Pearl had inadvertently found the cure for Jewel colic. I tried to hold in the laughter as I hid so Pearl would not see me, but let me tell you for the next year Jewel slept with that thing under her back and she slept through the night from that point on.


End file.
